June 28th, 2014

Angry Candiru

Sunday, 29 June 2014

Today's strip is probably one in which we get a defensive Lynnsight that defends Elly's belief that Mike is actually freeloading off of his parents. That's because we get stupid crap about how stupid Mike doesn't realize that parents aren't free to do what they want either. Since said freedom should be to spend their money solely on themselves while he uses the energy he wastes on playing to support himself, I wish that they and everyone who agrees with them had the one neck to wring and thus improve the species.

(Strip Number 7189, Original Publication Date, 30 June 1985)

Panel 1: We start things off with Elly telling Mike (who's reading a comic book) that she wants him to do something useful. He tells her that he is.

Panel 2: He tells her that he's reading.

Panel 3: The strip most of Lynn's fans will see starts with her yapping about how Mike's gotta rake the lawn and sweep out the garage. Mike complains about this.

Panel 4: Elly pisses me the Hell off by whining about how she and John have to take a financial hit without getting paid back for feeding, clothing and housing him and buying him things.

Panel 5: She further infuriates by having the 'Closed-Eyed Frown Of Moral Superiority' plastered on her stupid-ass boomer face when she drones selfishly on about how he has to do SOMETHING to pay them back for the money they spend on him.

Panel 6: Mike 'proves' that he's a selfish freeloader by thought-bubbling about the unfairness of Elly's way of thinking. After all, he didn't ask to be born there and it's not his fault that they have to spend money on him.

Panel 7: He growls under his breath because he's too bad a kid to realize that yes, he is a freeloader and yes, it is his fault that pooooooooor John and Elly have to spend money they should be allowed to spend on themselves.

Panel 8: He then yells that he can't WAIT to be a grown up.

Panel 9: That way, he won't have to do anything he doesn't want to.

Summary: This, right here, is why I hate the Pattersons and their creator. She wants us to sympathize with John and Elly for thinking "Oh, woe is US!!! We have to spend money on a child and we're told we shouldn't expect any money back!! That's not FAIR!!!" instead of Mike for not seeing that yes, he is freeloading off of them. God-damned worthless, spineless, gutless, heartless, brainless boomer assholes thinking that everyone is a freaking vending machine....