April 26th, 2014

Snarky Candiru2

Sunday, 27 April 2014

In today's strip, Elly is far more alarmed that Lizzie ruined a perfectly good doll playing with the curling iron she witlessly left in play than by the possibility that the child could have burned herself quite badly.

(Strip Number 7182, Original Publication Date, 28 April 1985)

Panel 1: We find ourselves in the master bedroom watching Elly curl her hair with an iron. Since she's too blasted impatient to actually answer Lizzie straight off when the child asks her if she's curling her hair, Lizzie irritates her thin-skinned dope of a mother by doing something everyone on the planet who isn't Elly Patterson could easily have anticipated: insistently repeating the question until an infuriated moron who isn't built to understand children yells that yes, she is.

Panel 2: Since the WEMOMS Lynn panders to are also as dumb as a rock, they'd probably also be terrified and baffled by Lizzie saying that's what she thought she was doing.

Panel 3: Lizzie is fascinated by the fact that for some reason, words appear out of nowhere when Mommy curls her hair.

Panel 4: The fact that it looks as if Lizzie is about to grab onto the curling iron by the heated end while imbecile Elly's back is turned scares the holy living [SATURN!!!!] out of me.

Panel 5: Watching her walking away with it while grabbing it by the handle doesn't do much for my (or most people's nerves) because she could still burn herself badly.

Panel 6:. The sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that leads me to imagine a scared child screaming about the burned hand she didn't need to have is replaced with disgusted rage. This is because we have Lizzie coming and telling Mommy that she's gots somethin'ta tell her 'bout her curlin'iron.

Panel 7: The thing that enrages me is that when Lizzie tells Elly that it doesn't work on dolls, the description has Elly more terrified by the melted and damaged doll than some other possibility. Well, that and the fact that she'll die bleating that neither she nor any other person on the planet could have seen either Lizzie wrecking the doll OR burning herself playing with a curling iron coming.

Summary: This is why I'm glad there isn't a Coffee Talk any longer. Who needs to see a bunch of twits tell us something manifestly not true about how Elly is actually worried about Lizzie getting second degree burns? If she were, she'd have told Lizzie not to touch the blasted curling iron or put it out of reach or something. She'd also have acted as if having to worry about the safety of her children or learning from potential disasters wasn't a means by which they were oppressing her.