March 15th, 2014

Snarky Candiru2

Sunday, 16 March 2014

Today's effort has Lizzie destroy Elly's ability to express herself by fiddling with a tiny little hole in her slacks that Elly could justify patching until it becomes a great big hole that Elly has to waste money and toss the track pants instead of leaving them on the mending pile to die.

(Strip Number 6150, Original Publication Date, 17 March 1985)

Panel 1: We start things off with Lizzie reaching into a dresser drawer so she can get dressed for the day.

Panel 2: She then puts her top on.

Panel 3: As she puts on her slacks, she thought-bubbles'bout how they gotsa hole in the knee.

Panel 4: She then shoves her hand into her pants so she can stick her finger through the whole.

Panel 5: Next, she widens the hole because she seems to have nothing better to do with her free time.

Panel 6: She then pulls at the hole to make it even bigger.

Panel 7: By now, the hole is large enough for her to look at through an impromptu spyglass.

Panel 8: Finally, Elly shows up and screams Lizzie's name. Those of us who are picky-faces prove that we deserve to be in cages by muttering "About TIME!!!" when it's obvious that Elly had far more important things to do than to supervise small children.

Panel 9: Elly calls Lizzie's attention to the hole in the knee of her slacks and asks how it happened.

Panel 10: Lizzie doesn't know because they were like that when she found them.

Summary: The underlying premise to this mess is that Lizzie is lying about things to oppress and ruin Elly's life. The problem is that while Lizzie did a "bad" thing, she doesn't understand what she did and is answering as truthfully as possible. What's more, Elly's super-futile solution is to just leave stuff on the mending pile until she tosses it anyway.
Snarky Candiru2

The New Treasury: First Impressions.

As we all know, the new treasury is out. As we also know, the front cover art is a typical slice-of-life scene from The Early Years: Elly horrified by the horrible horror that only bad people who don't have children claim to be able to predict no problem: children running around like little idiots. The interesting thing about the back is that it also has a scene that would inspire what we see on the spine of the book: Mike and Lizzie selfishly, cruelly and criminally running around outside on a summer day and totally failing to remember how much work Elly will have to do to clean up after their refusal to admit that time is zooming away like mad: Elly standing around shrieking in blind rage because she's too blasted stupid to admit that no, children are not merely extensions of her will and thus can move, act, speak and think without her willing it.

As for the insides, we have:
- an introduction that's loaded with passive-aggressive nonsense about the evils of e-readers.
- passive-aggressive nonsense about the chaos children create.
- passive-aggressive nonsense about how children fight about nothing at all while adults fight over important things like who broke Lynn's walking doll, ALAN!!!!!!!!!!
- passive-aggressive nonsense about how terrible people are for refusing Lynn's 'wonderful' cooking.
- passive-aggressive nonsense directed at her family for objecting to how they're depicted.
- passive-aggressive nonsense about how Lynn loves playing up the American stereotype about how Canada is a frozen wasteland where everyone lives in igloos and eats whale blubber and maple syrup.
- passive-aggressive nonsense directed at people who object to Brian being an Asian stereotype.
- more hints that Milborough is mostly Dundas.
- crappy new-ruins that crud up an already crappy layout.

Also, it starts where the last one left off and ends with Mike talking himself into peeling carrots.