September 25th, 2013

Angry Candiru

Thursday, 26 September 2013: Elly Patterson of Earth: DIE!!!!!!!!

In today's strip, Elly loses her shit because she can't remember what Lizzie can and cannot do.

(Strip Number 714, Original Publication Date, 27 September 1984)

Panel 1: It would seem that Elly let Lizzie set the table without supervising her. This is because a smiling four-year old thought-bubbles dat she puts de knife'an'fork like dis as she arranges the knives, forks and what-not like an example of outsider art.

Panel 2: Since stupid Elly thinks that Lizzie reads minds or was born knowing how to set the table or some such bullhuckey and is only doing this so as to better rip Mommy's heart out and jump on it until the Mommy she HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATES dies, she's genuinely shocked at this and says so.

Panel 3: Lizzie mutters "Oh, yeah" as she notices her oversight.

Panel 4: Since Lizzie doesn't realize that the good china is fragile, she doesn't know why Mommy is in the background screaming like a banshee. After all, Lizzie is bringin'da plates to help Mommy.

Summary: Jesus GOD!! Another perfect opportunity to teach Lizzie and to bond with her squandered feeling sorry for herself and thinking that her children are trying to destroy her because they hate her. Would that the kid-free vacation of 1995 had ended with John and Elly's plane exploding in mid-air. It might have been too late for Mike at that point but the girls could have been salvaged.