September 3rd, 2013

Snarky Candiru2

Wednesday, 4 September 2013

In today's strip, Lynn chooses to interpret a child's natural reluctance to be pawed over by a huffy nitwit as an inability to stand still.

(Strip Number 698, Original Publication Date, 5 September 1984)

Panel 1: We find Elly trying to hem Mike's pants while he's still wearing them. In an effort to avoid having a sewing needle jammed into his person, he wriggles just the right way to get a pin rammed into his ankle; this causes him to yell out in pain and ask Elly when she's going to get done trying to kill him.

Panel 2: Since she's too stupid to understand that it would make more sense to hem them when he's not wearing them, she tells him to stop wiggling and stand still.

Panel 3: Michael oppresses her by saying "Mom - I'm a kid!...

Panel 4: ....This is as still as I can stand!"

Summary: I can understand fitting a dress this way but a kid's slacks? It's as if she wants to make life harder for herself on purpose so she can be angry with people. Oh, wait. It's Elly. There's no "as if" about it.
Snarky Candiru2

On the unsustainability of the post-Settlepocalypse world.

As you might have guessed from the header, I don't really think that the Pattersons stand all that great a chance of having a happy ending finance-wise. While the Strip of Destiny might tell us that Mike's long-term contract means that he's set for life, I have my doubts. Said doubts start with the knowledge that television producers tend to look for ways to screw over dumb-asses like him as a general principle. This tells me that he's going to end up slaving away at his computer and making less money than he would were he to wear a paper hat and ask us if we want curly fries with our Banger Burger. While he might be able to fool his friends and family, it's kind of obvious that the only way that he and Deanna could live within his parents' means would be if when she told people she ran a sewing school, she meant that she was actually turning into Female Polish-Canadian Heisenberg and recruiting Jeremy Jones as her own personal Jesse.