July 9th, 2012

Snarky Candiru2

Monday, 30 July 2012

In today's strip, we introduce Danny's neighbor and occasional hireling Arnold. He introduces his worthless self by witlessly charging through Danny's wheatfield on his snowmobile. 

(Strip Number 4352, Original Publication Date, 1 August 1983)

Panel 1: As the Pattersons and Cruikshanks eat a meal of some sort, the peace and quiet is interrupted by a loud, off-camera roaring of an engine.

Panel 2: Danny, who's standing on the porch, meets the source of said noise: Arnold Ulfang. They greet one another and Arnold invites himself in for coffee and misogyny.

Panel 3: Before the ass-scratching (and unmarriageable) Cro-Magnon can witlessly damn the female of the species for being too dumb to speak in public (when his own 'contributions' to any conversation are monosyllables and ape-like grunting), he boasts about finally getting his old snowmobile working.

Panel 4: Since he adds cluelessness to bad manners and alienating the ladies, he has no idea that his cheery declaration that he'd cut through the wheatfield Danny uses to help support himself like a hot knife through butter constitutes a problem.

Summary: Ever wonder what kind of farmer would just stand there like a wooden Jesus in a country graveyard watching as children played around slurry pits and grain bins? I think we now know the answer to that question. 
Snarky Candiru2

Tuesday, 10 July 2012

In today's strip, Michael finally gets told what the purpose of his trip actually is: to teach him that he isn't actually being overworked at home. That's right, people. Even then, John was trying to adjust Michael's attitude from "having free will" to "slavishly agreeing with every stupid-ass, self-serving 'idea' festering in the malignant lump of sewage John calls a brain." 

(Strip Number 4343, Original Publication Date, 12 July 1983)

Panel 1: As they drive down to the farm, Danny says that except for the corn, the crops aren't nearly as good as they were last year.

Panel 2: John beams with delight because Danny managed to fix up the tractor up for him so as to keep him nice and busy.

Panel 3: Mike tells Bev's floating, disembodied head that he thought that they'd come there for a vacation.

Panel 4: Bev, having put her head back on, tells him that on a farm in the summer, there isn't any such thing.

Summary: She's right, of course. Too bad that she's got an idiot brother who's going to be put out because she assigns chores small children can actually do and a daughter who needs her arse kicked for being a carping, insensitive and hateful pain in the neck.