January 25th, 2012

Snarky Candiru2

Thursday, 26 January 2012

Today, Elly totally loses her shit and threatens to backhand her unsupervised, understimulated children because they amuse themselves in a way that annoys her.

(Strip Number 6007, Original Publication Date, 27 January 1983)

Panel 1: We find ourselves watching the bored, understimulated and unsupervised Patterson children sitting on the couch. Michael is so bereft of things to do and his imagination is so atrophied after years of being exposed to someone who needs to kill it so that she can own his horses that he finds that making a noseprint on the condensation on the picture window is a grand and glorious thing.

Panel 2: Equally bored and equally unimaginative Lizzie is thrilled to death because she just made an earprint.

Panel 3: Mike ups the ante by wanting to make a whole face print.

Panel 4: Mindlessly Angry Elly storms into the room and asks the two of them if they'd like a hand print.

Summary: This will occasion any number of letters defending Elly's right to exact her brutal revenge on her children for something that would not be seen as a problem by anyone without a rebar shoved up her fat ass (thereby explaining the ten pounds she cannot seem to lose no matter how sincere she is) but also to think that she's being backed into a corner by demonic children who want to destroy her.