July 10th, 2010

Snarky Candiru2

Sunday, 11 July 2010

I'd like to think that Lynn was going to synchronize these last three Sundays with the disastrous trip to what the Pattersons think is Ted's cabin but I sort of know better. What we're probably going to see is something that sets up all those strips that have John and Jim smugly ogle all the young women that have the misfortune to share a public space with members of the species "Gymnopithecus Stultissimus var. Pattersonii", colloquially known as either the Foob or the North American Blithering Idiot.

(Strip Number 11407)

Actually, we're in for something I like to call "John has lower back issues, LOL!!".

Panel 1: We start things off with Lizzie riding her hovertricycle; since no one had thought to take care of it up until now, we join John's silhouette in hearing the awful sound of metal scraping against metal.

Panel 2: Like a lot of people, John finds the SQUEEEEEEEEEKS and SQUEEEEEEEELS of poorly-maintained objects unpleasant.

Panel 3: We see John running after Lizzie and the hovertrike with a can of Superlube in his hands.

Panel 4: He applies the oil in a mighty GLUUUURRRBBBPP as Lizzie looks on.

Panel 5: His silhouette reacts in alarm as Mike plays on the swing set; it too makes that horrid squeaking noise.

Panel 6: Having climbed up on top in an unsafe manner, he applies Superlube to the problem area.

Panel 7: We next see Mike walking along with his little red wagon in tow; it too makes a discordant series of squeaks and squeals.

Panel 8: Mike looks on in confusion as Daddy makes it stop playing its funny little song.

Panel 9: John looks quite pleased with himself for having made play time better for everyone; this is owing to his not having remembered that as soon as he oils something, his kids avoid it,

Panel 10: As he bends down to put the can back in its tool caddy, his backbone and knees make a series of squeaks and popping noises.

Summary: This, of course, is meant to set up all the strips that depict him suffering from a bad back brought on by years of standing over people with their mouths open. It also foreshadows his love of puttering away at minor home repairs while ignoring big things like gates with easily-opened latches.