July 3rd, 2010

Angry Candiru

Sunday, 4 July 2010

There are two possibilities for today's strip; the first, of course, is another new-ruin that has Lynn ham-fistedly tries to set a precedent for future behavior by producing an inferior copy of older strips. The second is that we could have the Sunday strip from 28 June 1981 and find ourselves in straight reprint country forever.

It's the former; what we have is yet another strip that has Elly plead to rescued because she's so weak and fragile that she's overwhelmed by painfully average children engaging in tame roughhousing.

Panel 1: We start the proceedings with Spaceman Azort (Mike) and his sidekick Twirg (Lawrence) and the Baleful Beast of Blorg (Farley) running inside the Battle Zone (the living room) with their maser pistols (toy ray guns) and having big, loud fun doing so.

Panel 2: The three of them jump onto the null-gravity port (Elly's couch).

Panel 3: Azort yells to Twirg that THE PLANET IS IN DANGER and they have to SAVE THE WORLD.

Panel 4: Their silhouettes yell out ZAP-ZAP-ZOW-GAZOWAAAA-BARK-BARK-FAZOOOOOOMMM as they and Lizzie run towards their space destiny in space.

Panel 5: Azort tells Twirg that THE BEAST IS CORNERED and to SAVE THE KID!

Panel 6: Having been bowled over by Farley, Mike yells "AAAAAUUUUGGGHHHH!!! THE BEAST HAS GOT ME!!!"

Panel 7: He then exhorts Lawrence to get Lizzie to the pressure chamber and to SAVE HER! SAVE HER!!

Panel 8: We again see their silhouettes yelling as they warp off to a new adventure.

Panel 9: We now shift our focus to the front door; as John walks in, he's confronted by a terrified Elly who begs him to save her.

Summary: As they say on Britcoms, Elly is as "weeeeeeeak as water"; I simply cannot abide a woman so gutless and whiny that she regards children pretending to fight alternate-company equivalent Klingons as being a horror beyond mortal comprehension. What makes her more repulsive is the fact that she eventually convinces healthy, active children who did not start out seeing that the feeling in their limbs that makes running around enjoyable as a bad thing that children are only meant to move, think and speak when an adult wills it.