June 26th, 2010

Snarky Candiru2

Sunday, 27 June 2010

I half-way expect to see the strip that has Elly thought-bubble about how quickly it takes for her hard work to get undone today. If so, that would mean that we're at the end of the new-ruin era.

Not yet; what we have to contend with is a failed tribute to all the strips that have Elly trying to teach the kids something.

Panel 1: We find ourselves in the Patterson's backyard watching a confused Lizzie and Farley watching Mike and Lawrence as they DIG-DIG-DIG-DIG-DIG-DIG a hole in the dirt.

Panel 2: Mike asks Lawrence what he thinks of their hole; the future landscaper says that it's looking good.

Panel 3: They go back to digging the hole.

Panel 4: Mike asks Elly, who's come over to see what's probably keeping the kids from eating ice cream, if it's possible to dig straight down to China.

Panel 5: She says that she doesn't know but does know that it's a long way away.

Panel 6: She also tells them that before they get there, they'd have to deal with rock and water and the heat of the Earth's core.

Panel 7: Mike asks her if she means it's like a volcano; she responds in the affirmative which makes Lawrence say "Whoa!" in astonishment.

Panel 8: Mike asks her that if they were to dig that deep, the magma would come straight up the hole. She says it would without reminding them that there's no way they could do that with a pail, shovel and pointed stick.

Panel 9: After Elly goes back to whatever she was doing, Mike and Lawrence talk about what she said; Mike says that that sounds pretty dangerous; Lawrence agrees and then Mike says "Come on...."

Panel 10: "...we'd better fill it in." It's at this point that one expects to see a panel filled with FILL-FILL-FILL. One also expects to see letters on Coffee Talk not noticing that Mike and Lawrence are acting like the sort of fearful, ignorant old lady who thinks that the Thai language was invented to allow people to swear at her and who insists on wanting to fort up where there's air conditioning.

Summary: There's a long, ugly history of Elly trying to explain things to her children and failing miserably; Lynn wants us to think that it's because Mike, Lizzie and April are either stupid, ignorant or deliberately misunderstanding her but since Elly cannot be asked to frame things in a way a child could understand, we know which cylinder ain't firing. This strip simply establishes a precedent.