May 8th, 2010

Snarky Candiru2

Sunday, 9 May 2010

Since it's Mother's Day, I expect to see a new-ruin that's a derivative and inferior pastiche of classic strips that celebrate the day. Will we see John go overboard because he forgot, will we see Elly do even more housework than normal so she can 'earn' the rest she was due anyway or will we see the kids do something silly? All bets are off.

In today's new-ruin, we find out that John is a better husband than Steve Nichols.

Panel 1: As our story begins, we find Annie busy raking her back yard; Elly leans over the fence and says "Hey there! Happy Mother's Day."

Panel 2: Annie reminds us that it's about to rain anvils by asking "Is it?"

Panel 3: Elly asks Annie "Aren't you doing anything to celebrate the day?"; Anne replies "Nah....."

Panel 4: She goes on to explain that they don't make a big deal about Mother's Day and stuff like that.

Panel 5: Steve, you see, is one of those idiots who say it's just another excuse to make a buck. This tells me that he doesn't want to make a big deal out of it because he's the sort of dick who spends a fortune on crap for himself but goes into hysterics when she spends his money on necessities.

Panel 6: He says holidays and "special days" are too commercial and he doesn't want to get sucked in; this confirms my earlier assumption.

Panel 7: Elly reminds Annie that this is Mother's Day; Annie replies "So?"

Panel 8: Elly goes on to explain that as mothers, she and Annie are shaping the next generation of human beings and thus affect the future of the world.

Panel 9: She then tells the woman she groused at last week because she offered constructive criticism that she's good enough at her job to deserve a little commercialism.

Panel 10: Annie phones Steve and tells him to cancel bowling with the lads 'cause he's taking her to dinner.

Summary: Let's let the punchline sink in for a second; Steve is going bowling on Mother's Day while expecting Annie to ignore it. What kind of a selfish dick did she marry? Since she passively let him talk her into ignoring it for his convenience, is she so big a doormat that she has the word 'WELCOME' emblazoned on her backside? And since she's hopping-ass nuts if she thinks that what Steve was planning would fly, does Lynn even see the same colors we do?