March 18th, 2010

Snarky Candiru2

Travelogue, Day Eight.

As you know, Lynn has promised us her description of an elephant ride so we're in for a large pile of something about large piles of something.

Well, it's up and ready for your reading (dis)pleasure:

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Notes:

- Her leaden prose style once again betrays her; I'm fairly sure that she doesn't actually think that vandalism is worse that prostitution but since she can't write, that's the impression she gives off.
- Worse, she cannot resist the unholy tendency to show off her vocabulary when it's not necessary or even welcome.
- It seems likely to me that Lynn doesn't understand that "Kip" and "Kop" are the sort of nicknames that Thais use when speaking to foreigners who they assume cannot pronounce their real names. When one considers that a typical Thai name is something along the lines of Somtow Sucharitkul, you can see why they'd do it.
- That "male member" crack made MY knees slam shut; I knew she didn't like men but she doesn't have to be such a bitch about it.
- Also, we're treated to more of her daffy ideas of human prehistory; it would take a bloody miracle to explain to her why people migrated to where they did.
- It would also seem that she's getting a bit jaded with all this talk of being bored by seeing sights and asking for postcards. Heaven forbid that her blank mind be sullied by knowledge.
- Getting her to realize that "those people" (what a wonderfully patronizing term) don't travel because they can't afford it and that they would find what we call mundane exotic would take another miracle.
- Finally, the elephant ride gave her a chance to remind us that she thinks that poo and pee are funny. A competent writer whose head wasn't wedged up her rectum could have had us spellbound by such a marvel. Lynn is neither so we get tripe like this. Also, she's so blasted lazy, she couldn't be bothered going to a zoo to see an elephant like a regular person.
Snarky Candiru2

Friday, 19 March 2010

Today, we find out who Allo Girl is; my gut tells me that Lynn will ignore the potential damage to continuity and say that she's Georgia.

Actually, we don't find out; we find out that my presumption that Connie drove away crying without asking who Allo Girl was is correct.

Panel 1: As we see Connie confronted by Allo Girl, Elly narrates "When Connie knocked on Phil's door, a very pretty girl answered. Connie did not know what to do."

Panel 2: As she holds out the pipe, Elly's voice-over reads "She said that she was just passing through the neighborhood and had come to return his pipe."

Panel 3: We next see Allo Girl smile and beckon a reluctant Connie inside; Elly's voice-over reads "She said that Phil would be back very soon and asked her to come in but she said she had other things to do." This, of course, means "The woman said that Phil would be back very soon and asked her to come in but Connie said she had other things to do."

Panel 4: Annie reminds Elly, who's folding laundry, "But Elly, she'd come there specifically to see him. What else did she have to do?"

Panel 5: I'll tell you what she did; sit in her car and cry because Cheating Cheater Who Cheats Phil Broke Her Heart.

Summary: You and I know that there are a thousand different innocuous reasons for Allo Girl to be there but Lynn can only see the one: Phil is spreading it around because he wants to make a fool of Connie. That's because she's a narrow-minded old fool who can't even see how dumb she looks.