March 16th, 2010

Snarky Candiru2

Wednesday, 17 March 2010

Let's see what sort of horrible horror Mike is yelling about today and how it's supposedly an omen that Elly will have to give up on her dreams of cruises and Spanish villas. The last time we had someone this ignorant read that much into a non-event, April thought that she willed a tree to fall onto the Tiny Train House.

Panel 1: As we pick up from where we left off, we find out what the big disaster is: someone spilled all of Farley's dry food on the floor. As Elly and Annie look at the spill with a look of horror, Mike says that Lizzie (who, along with Christichard, is staring at it stupidly) did it; he told her not to pull on the kibble bag but she did it anyway.

Panel 2: As Farley starts to chow down, Mike, who's holding the bag open for Elly, who's all pissed off as she puts as much as she can back in the bag, says that he told her that it would fall over and all the kibble would fall out but she wouldn't listen.

Panel 3: Elly sets up the stupid punchline by asking a stupid question instead of giving her son a reality check; instead of reminding him that Lizzie doesn't really understand English, she asks him that if he knew it was going to happen, why didn't he stop her.

Panel 4: His answering her by saying that he wasn't sure leaves her as gobsmacked as telling her that he didn't want to have to get pummeled by an angry, screaming toddler and/or blamed for making her cry would have.

Summary: What bothers me is that Elly will draw a stupid conclusion from this. You and I would realize that Mike is an amazingly average dumb kid trying to do something that shouldn't have been asked of him; Elly will see it as an omen that her family needs her useless presence more than the world needs a great novel.
Snarky Candiru2

Travelogue, Day Seven

Since Lynn could very well update her blog today or tomorrow, I'm setting this thread up in advance.

Crap. We start with another witless mispronunciation and deteriorate from there.

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Notes:
- As expected, she stoops to pretending she's as low-class as she thinks her readers are by calling "food" "grub".
- She does seem to have been rattled by the horrible accident she saw but not enough to draw the correct conclusion about how helmet laws and speed limits are a good idea.
- Worse still, we'll never hear about him again; you or I might ask ourselves if he survived or what his life will be like from now on. Lynn shows us where Mike gets his empathy and sensitivity from.
- She finally seems to have learned to use the word "hijab".
- Her theory of the birth-place of man is almost as wacked-out as Bucky Fuller's.
- Again, more ranting about "authenticity" and "getting off the beaten path".
- Next, she insists on her misspellings, improper punctuation and usage errors.
- Finally, thanks to her horrible prose style, her idea of fine dining looks very much like the irritating spectacle of watching some doofus hit up the sample trays at a grocery store and declaring that to be lunch instead of the innocuous thing it is.