August 25th, 2009

Calm Candiru

Wednesday, 26 August 2009

It seems to me that we might launch into a tangent about how, since Michael is going to be in big-kid school soon, it might be a good thing for Elly to get a part-time job; the fun part will be remembering that the same Annie who calls that a bad idea (because the MAN is supposed to be the breadwinner while the WOMAN isn't supposed to want a job) is the one that ends up with a career and liking it. This, of course, is a supplementary source of glee which adds to the nasty sort of delight derived from the standard speculation on how badly Rod will get mauled this time around.

Nope. It's Mike flinging Elly's stupidity in Lizzie's face.

Panel 1: As John reads his paper, Mike tells him about what he got at the Handy Haven for back-to-school: he got a Batman pencil case an' Spider-Man pencils.

Panel 2: He also got a ruler an' tape an' scissors an' notebooks an' crayons an' erasers an' glue.

Panel 3: He also got construction paper in all different colors. Instead of telling Mike that he needs a cartoonist who doesn't wield words like an', hafta and stoopid as a club to beat those she looks down on over the head, John gushes that this is just like Christmas. Lizzie says "Yah!"

Panel 4: Mike starts to laugh the Sticky-Out Tongue Laugh of Malice when he reminds a gobsmacked Lizzie she didn't get anything.

Summary: That's because dumb-ass Elly took them shopping and didn't buy Lizzie a thing because she wasn't going to school. I'm not a parent and don't plan to be one any time soon and even I know that that's bullshit; not only did Elly set Mike up to be "better", she also ruined any chance Liz might have to look forward to actual school. Worse still, she'll defend her idiocy to the end because not only is she low-class, she's as literal-minded as the snotty little child she'll always be. I know this because I have met people like her before; the more you try to convince her that she should have gotten Lizzie something nice, the more she resists.
Unicorn

Mike wrote a fan fic...er...novel

Since there was so much discussion on Monday about the process of writing a novel versus whatever Mike was shown doing, I thought I'd post this.  I went through the monthly letters and copied Mike's description of the process of creating Stone Season and Blood Cargo, as well as excerpts from both.  They're just in chronological order without any snark (that's why I'm posting them here...).  I asked my husband, who didn't grow up with the FOOBs, to read the novel.  About thirty seconds later I heard him exclaim, "Is this supposed to be serious?!  'Images solidify as if I were seeing a photographic sheet lowered into the developer'?!"  He gave up after a few paragraphs, even though I urged him on to the gorno scene where Sheiglauggggh's delivers two lots of placenta.

 

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