July 13th, 2009

Snarky Candiru2

Tuesday, 14 July 2009

It's too bad that we sort of know what happens today; all that remains to us is speculating on how big Elly's eyes are when John overrides her veto on fun, if she never saw it coming and how many strips Lynn is going to dedicate to having her bitch that John has to back every stupid decision she makes.

We'll have to see her scream at John tomorrow; right now, Mike has to be taught that decisions mean nothing.

Panel 1: As Elly plants something in the yard, Mike tells her that Lawrence can play in her sprinkler. Elly says that "That's his house and his mom's decision; I don't want you in the sprinkler." Translated into English that means "I can't take back my rash decision because I don't EVER want to admit I was wrong; I'm just that selfish and mean-spirited."

Panel 2: When he reminds her that Chris gets to play in the sprinkler, she tells him "I said NO; let's leave it at that." He whines a little. It occurs to a peevish middle-aged man from Saint John, New Brunswick that her holding a bag of manure is somehow appropriate; that's because your humble servant thinks Elly is full of shit.

Panel 3: We next see our hero sitting on the porch feeling bummed; when John, who's raking, asks him what's the matter, he says that it's hot, he's bored and there's nothing to do. You'll notice that he doesn't say that Elly sullenly took all the options away because of her childish refusal to back down; this is probably a given so it's redundant.

Panel 4: John's solution to Mike's woes is simple, correct and will land him in a world of trouble; he suggests that Mike play in the sprinkler like regular people.

Summary: If I thought that people would appreciate a Soap reference, I'd say "How far will Elly's jaws unhinge? Will she actually thought-bubble the word 'Hate' when John tries to explain himself? What happened to Wally Winkerbean? For those answers and more, tune into the next episode of 'Elly Patterson is a DOPE.'"