July 1st, 2009

Snarky Candiru2

Thursday, 2 July 2009

I wonder what today's horror might entail; will we see Elly be martyred because she has to bathe Farley or will something else happen?

It's Mike, not understanding why Farley's impacted anal gland is a problem.

Panel 1: Lawrence notices something stuck to Farley's behind; he sniffs it, yells BLEAH in revulsion and asks Mike 'What IS that'. Mike doesn't know.

Panel 2: Lawrence holds his nose and yells "GROSS!! Get him away from me!"

Panel 3: He then yells that he's going to barf and hurl. Mike's response is to say "Lawrence....."

Panel 4: "....It's not that bad."

Panel 5: Lawrence says the only reason he's saying that is because he's at the wrong end.

Summary: Unfortunately, I do know what's wrong with Farley; either he's sick and got an impacted anal gland, he ate something he shouldn't have and the turd got stuck in his rectum or the turd is stuck to his fur; either way, this is not family-friendly material suitable for accompanying one's Egg McMuffin. It is, on the other hand, cringe-worthy material suitable for being the subject of angry letters to the editor demanding that the new-ruins be dropped.
Angry Candiru

Travel Journal, Day Four

Because no one demanded it, here's Lynn's account of Day Four of her Mexican vacation.

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(Kindly excuse the opening paragraph; it came that way. Also, enjoy howtheduck's version of the missing text.)

Notes:
- Lynn would rather believe that hieroglyphic writing was used to hawk eats and junk than to serve the religious and political purposes it was intended to. This is because she doesn't understand that in the Zapotec culture, literacy was for the elite.
- Lynn doesn't understand that they never actually did stop using plant-based dyes; it's just that the synthetics used to cost less. Now that we live in a post-peak oil world, it's time for the older dye-stuffs to make a comeback.
- Lynn doesn't realize that the Aguilar and Ojeda families are well known for the quality of their work. She doesn't even know their names, preferring instead to refer to them as 'local artisans'.
- Lynn doesn't understand that the Aguilars and Ojedas would probably sacrifice people to the old gods if it meant they got to use electric lighting.
- Lynn is obsessed with food and misspells common words like cerveza.
- Lynn is an idiot who can't spell, write coherently or permit things to be proof-read before springing them on the public.
- This entry is what people mean when they use the phrase 'Too long; didn't read.'