June 4th, 2009

Snarky Candiru2

Friday, 5 June 2009

It seems to me that there are four possibilities that present themselves for today's strip.

1) Mike and Lawrence return home with no one the wiser.
2) Connie catches them and gives Elly holy Hell for being asleep at the switch.
3) Elly screams at Connie because not only is she a threat to every marriage in the world, her son, having no Dad to speak of, is by definition a born hooligan.
4) Elly screams at Michael because he made her look bad.
5) Amy D is right and we're about to bear witness to the Big Giant Gigolo going all Howard ERK!! on Connie.

I'd prefer option one but fear number four is most likely.

It's none of the above; Lawrence and Mike leave Connie to bear witness to what Publick and Hammer called "the wrath of the Monarch".

Panel 1: We start off with Mike and Lawrence hanging up their jackets. Mike whispers in Lynnglish "Giggle! This is too funny, Lawrence; this is hilarious!" Lawrence responds to his friend's belief that they got away with sneaking out like idiots with a hearty "Heh, heh".

Panel 2: Mike delivers an infodump about how nobody's gonna figure out that the two of them snuck out of the house to head to Connie's place so they could take a dump. It should be noted that the vocabulary he uses to do so is not the sort a real five-year-old would use; instead, he talks like he's a sixty-two-year-old woman in a little boy suit.

Panel 3: Mike and Lawrence marvel that they didn't even wake their mothers; Lawrence states that Connie is a really light sleeper which, of course, implies that you could light fire crackers in Elly's potato nose and not wake her.

Panel 4: Lawrence says that it's a good thing they didn't flush. My response to their mutual self-congratulation: nausea and disgust.

Summary: This merely delays the screaming fit Elly will have until morning when Connie finds a turd in her commode. It will also be used as evidence that she has no business having a social life independent of John's.