May 23rd, 2009

Snarky Candiru2

Sunday, 24 May 2009

Watching that interview the other day has got me expecting a pet strip. I don't know why that is, all I know is that I expect to see normal canine behavior so shock and confuse Elly, her jaw unhinges.

Perhaps next week; right now, John and Elly handle a domestic crisis only to have to handle it all over again.

Panel 1: We see Lizzie in the bathroom by herself with her face frozen in the Bug-Eyed Glare of Existential Horror because she's locked herself in. The fact that the Pattersons are stupid enough to leave a toddler to her own devices or dress her in a chartreuse and pink onesie doesn't astonish me; neither does Lynn's belief that CLINNG!!! is the sound a lock makes.

Panel 2: Mike yells "MOM!! Lizzie just locked herself in the bathroom!!"

Panel 3: As Lizzie cries, Elly is at the door telling her to turn the knob. Try as she might, Elly can't remember that Lizzie can't turn things when her hands are wet.

Panel 4: John then tries to coax her to the door only to discover that panicky infants aren't good at following directions.

Panel 5: Instead of taking a screwdriver to the lock like a sane person, we see John trying to open the bathroom window so he can shimmy in; too bad for him the frakking thing is stuck.

Panel 6: We look in on Lizzie; she's sniffling a little and she's unspooled the toilet paper so she can have something to dry her tears with. Elly's reassuring "Come to Mommy, Lizzie. Trn the handle" consoles her.

Panel 7: Elly is relieved to see Lizzie open the door.

Panel 8: We next see her outside telling John that everything is all right because she's out.

Panel 9: John asks where Lizzie is now.

Panel 10: Mike yells "MOM!! Lizzie just locked herself in the bathroom!!" That's because Elly forgot to make sure that Lizzie was not in a position to do so again.

Summary: The Pattersons did a lot of stupid things today; first, they let a small child in the bathroom unsupervised. Second, they didn't simply take a screwdriver to the lock. Third, and worst, when she did get out, they didn't make sure she wouldn't immediately go right back in. All those things would be unfair burdens on their time because they're stupid and negligent.