April 4th, 2009

Snarky Candiru2

Sunday, 5 April 2009

Let's hope that if this strip is a reprint, it isn't as depressing and pointlessly negative as last week's.

ETA: It's a new-run that revisits an old, familiar theme: Elly as impatient and inept pet owner. It should also be noted that TV is also lambasted and that, for the Pattersons, instant gratification takes too long.

Panel 1: We start off with New-Run Elly watching an ad for a product called 'Whiffex'. Its purpose: to deal with pet odors and stains on carpeting.

Panel 2: As the announcer sings its praises, Farley relieves himself on the rug. Judging from his expression, he looks like he passed a ball of thumbtacks.

Panel 3: We see Elly holding a container of Whiffex 3 as the announcer tells us that its secret odor-vanquishing formula eliminates smells now.

Panel 4: Elly looks at the screen as the lady, who has the Teeth of Evil and thus should not be trusted, further promotes this germ-crushing, scent-destroying marvel.

Panel 5: All one need do is press down a patented Whiffex pad on the trouble spot and the smell is gone.

Panel 6: Despite pressing down with all her might, Elly can still smell dog crap despite being promised a fresh-smelling carpet.

Panel 7: She then scrubs really hard to get rid of the tough smell and rough smell the jingle talks about.

Panel 8: She sniiiiiiiiiiiiiiffs again and the carpet still reeks.

Panel 9: As the ad wraps up and tells us that, thanks to Whiffex, we now know how to rid carpets of pet odors.....

Panel 10: ....we see the only solution a failure like Elly can come up with: shoo Farley outside.

Summary: Odds are that Elly is going to write an angry letter to the Whiffex people about their product; too bad she isn't going to like being told that she used it improperly. Why, I'll bet that she didn't realize she was supposed to clean up the dog doo before slaking the Whiffex pad to the spot. That's Elly, though. She can't be bothered to read instructions any more than she can be bothered to walk Farley and avoid shit like this; she can walk him in a snowstorm with Lizzie strapped to her back but she will not do so on a nice, early-spring day, the big idiot.