March 31st, 2009

Snarky Candiru2

Wednesday, 1 April 2009

As you know, today's supposed to be April's eighteenth birthday; we should be by rights watching Elly angst about how, now that her youngest is an adult, she let all the good times she could have had slip through her fingers because she was too obsessed with piddly-crap that nobody else cared about. Instead, we're probably going to see a reprint that has her feeling shocked and horrified by some mundane thing that would escape most people's notice.

Perhaps tomorrow; right now, Mike's gotta insult Elly.

Panel 1: It's night-time at the Pattermanse and Mike needs to use the washroom; said washroom has been occupied by Elly, who's depicted as being in an evening gown and putting on make-up, for what seems to a child of his variable age like an eternity. In response to this, he yells "MOM!! Are you ever coming out of there? What's taking so long, MAAAAAAAA?"

Panel 2: As she puts on some lipstick she angrily shoots back "I'm making myself gorgeous-- Do you mind?" It should be noted that there's a dead plant hanging right over the commode; sadly, it died of neglect because Elly was too busy trying to be a hero to do basic stuff like watering plants and tidying living rooms.

Panel 3: We shift to outside the washroom door to see a dejected Mike say "Oh. So that's what's taking so long." This is, of course, because he's supposed to think that Elly's basic state is hideously ugly. This does not, of course, ring true; that's a thing for John to say. A real five year old would point out that he has to go NOW so she'll just have to be gorgeous (whatever that means) later.

Summary: A fourth panel would have depicted Elly bursting through the door to whoop the crap out of him for insulting her. She'd then whine about having to do it.

ETA: Today's banner reminds us that April is dental health month by showing us an inept, unprofessional dentist and his deformed, muppet-mouthed receptionist. There's nothing else that's special about the first day of April and never will be.