March 23rd, 2009

Bemused Candiru

Cooking with Elly: 23 March 2009

Let's see what today's recipe will be. Even if it is edible, you can be sure that Lynn will describe the children the readers are supposed to be teaching in a patronizingly demeaning light.

It's nail on the head time today as Lynn/Elly presents us with Saturday Morning Snacks.

The first is called "Ants on a Log" or, in plain English, celery sticks filled with either peanut butter or processed cheese spread and topped with raisins. Care must be taken not to tell the small ones that they're eating something good for them; one must instead bullshit them into doing so.

The same arch, self-satisfied need to not understand how children think permeates the next recipe: Toast Slices. Lynn wills herself to not see that children prefer snacks that not only appeal to their palates but that they can hold without dropping.

Her disdain for having to tidy up after children mars her recipe for mini-pizzas; the interesting taste is sullied by her obvious and baffling dread of being thought of as a child merely because she associates with then.
Snarky Candiru2

Coffee Talk: the week of 24 March 2009

I'm probably going out on a limb here but I think that the recipes from Lynn's fans and letters praising her for her perseverance in the face of haters who want to lay a bummer objective reality trip on her will be mixed with calls for John to either be castrated with a chain-saw or be pulled to death by snowmobiles.
Calm Candiru

Tuesday, 24 March 2009

As you may have guessed, the premise of this sequence is that John is either going to be tempted to cheat on Elly or actually cheat on her because Ted is telling him to. I have to agree with howtheduck when he says that simply doesn't ring true emotionally. Men do cheat on their wives but they don't do so because someone orders them to.

I hate being wrong almost as much as I hate being right; that's because Lynn is hitting us with her "Enjoying life is for suckers" trip.

Panel 1: We start off with Ted asking John if they should maybe go an' ask a coupla girls to go dancin'.

Panel 2: John rebuffs this suggestion by saying he must be getting old; he wants to head home.

Panel 3: Ted questions his sanity by reminding his buddy that this is his chance to see how single guys live.

Panel 4: John says he already knows how single men live; that's why he got married.

Summary: In Lynn's world, getting married and having children are what people do; they have no choice in the matter and that's that. As for enjoying being in their presence, that's simply irrelevant because Lynn doesn't believe in enjoyment. Having a good time is an evil because it distracts from being a humorless, self-absorbed twerp who makes mountains out of mole hills.

ETA: Lynn celebrates the advent of spring by doing some rather insensitive foreshadowing. There's something about a soaking-wet Farley that just bugs me.