February 16th, 2009

Snarky Candiru2

Elly's Letter, 16 February 2009

It seems to me that today's letter might have Elly either getting all pissy about the gag Valentine's gift or moaning that Lizzie tried to eat the Bigass Bowl O'Roses and what was John thinking anyway? If so, the discussion question might be what to do about his being a tube steak.

ETA: It appears that John - surprise, surprise - got talked out of giving her the mystery gift that she hoped was as fun as John said it wasnovelty teeth and bought her the Bigass Bowl O'Roses we saw yesterday. She then switches topics and and channels Cathy-must-die as she gripes about how one lollipop made her feel "bloato". This is, of course, her way of soliciting advice about what form of exercise she should take up. I wonder how many people will tell her that jogging is a good form of exercise just so long as she doesn't end up at Timmie's gorging herself on muffins and washing them down with a double-double.

(Double-double: Canadianism for a coffee with two creams and two sugars.)
Snarky Candiru2

Tuesday, 17 February 2009

It looks as if we're in for another siege at the Pattermanse as Lizzie's mysterious crying baffles the idiot protagonist. Yay. More questionable parenting from a peevish, narcissistic imbecile. I can hardly wait.

Today, Mike's the target of Elly's idiocy.

Panel 1: We see him in his pajamas screaming about how he doesn't want to go to bed; he, you see, hates going to be and refuses to go. Reason: Elly isn't being fair. This is, of course, because this tiny person hasn't figured out that his parents go to bed a bit later than he does. It would seem to me that he thinks that while he's asleep, he's missing out on a world of fun while they're awake all night long. Of course, he could be afraid of some shape he sees in the darkness or have an undiagnosed case of night terrors.

Panel 2: Whatever thought processes inspire this rant, they make him say this he's going to stand there all night long and that's that and DO THEY HEAR HIM screaming like a banshee?

Panel 3: Elly's response: she turns off the light in the hall-way.

Panel 4: As we see her tuck him into bed, she thought-bubbles "Chalk one up to superior intellect". It doesn't take much intellect to frighten a confused and angry boy so much that the panic you inspired makes his face a distorted mask of terror.

Summary: If she were really smart, she'd find out why it was why he was yelling about how unfair it was that he had to waste all his life sleeping and reassure him that he isn't being mistreated. That, or showing him the monster in the shadows isn't actually there. Since she's stoooopid, she simply bullies her way to victory.