February 9th, 2009

Angry Candiru

John's letter, 9 February 2009

While I'm not sure about what other details Elly will see fit to put in, it's obvious as all get-out what the discussion topic will be: "What should I do about Connie?" This should guarantee an interesting crop of letters.

ETA: Oh, for shit's sake......We have John yammering away about what to get Elly for Valentine's Day. He uses the annoying Pattersonism "sleep" when he should use the word "day", simpers about how he can't "get" why Elly would want jewelry when she could get a nifty cordless drill, chuckles at his dad for getting his mom the gushiest card available, whimpers about having to shell out money ever February, mocks Ted for playing the field, gets all bent out of shape because he ain't as creative as Jim and finally decides to get her a set of those ugly-ass chattering teeth. He wraps us his exercise in idiocy with the salutation "I’m looking forward to a great Valentine’s Day now. I hope yours is just as wonderful as mine!" My response: "Happy Valentine's Day, Jackass! Hope you like sleeping on the coach!"
Snarky Candiru2

Coffee Talk, the week of 10 February 2009

Since it's sort of obvious that this week's Coffee Talk question is going to be "Am I doing the right thing by 'helping' Connie", it's equally obvious that there are going to be a lot of people that do not understand how questionable this story arc looks. I look forward to seeing how the posters fail to see that this horror doesn't mesh with the details of their conventional lives no matter how hard they try to make it do so.

ETA: Since John was the letter-writer for the week, it would seem that all bets are off.
Snarky Candiru2

Tuesday, 10 February 2009

It would seem that the Connie saga is about to take its most horrific turn. By that, of course, I mean that she makes a huge, ugly fool of herself trying to win over that revolting wad of crap Ted. As a long-term reader, I know that his superpower is that he makes John look sensitive.

That comes later. Today, Elly's gotta lecture Connie about being a desperate nitwit.

Panel 1: We start off with her saying that she can't believe that Connie was actually going to place the personal ad she's reading in the paper.

Panel 2: She then makes the Furrowed Brow of Indignation as she says that this is beyond too much because Connie's need for someone has become an obsession.

Panel 3: Elly angrily states that Connie's got a fine son, a fulfilling and useful job but despite all this she still acts like a total frakking moron.

Panel 4: Connie's response is to say that she can always count on Elly to say the right thing. Elly's baffled glare means she doesn't know if Connie's being sarcastic either.

Summary: We can probably look forward to Connie heading to Montreal anyway so she can prove Elly wrong. We can also look forward to Elly sniping at her afterward for daring to do things to improve her lot.

ETA: For some unguessable reason, the "Friendships are Forever" banner is back up.