November 8th, 2008

Snarky Candiru2

Sunday, 9 November 2008

Now that we're in the Farley Zone, I expect this to be the first Sunday strip based on his presence in the Patterson's lives. Perhaps Elly will be miffed that he doesn't understand loud English.

ETA: Wrong. It's a new-run (the long heads and absence of shrieking being dead give-aways) that has Elly and Anne nailing themselves to their crosses. Lynn also swipes a thesis from Bill Cosby: "Children only tell the truth when they're in pain."

ETA2: Thanks to aprilp_katje, we know exactly what we're up against.

Panel 1: We see Mike and Richard playing. Richard sets the plot in creaking motion by casually ripping off Mike's funny book.

Panel 2: Mike's response is to BOP him on the head with such force that his tongue shoots out his mouth.

Panel 3: Richard reciprocates.

Panel 4: The sounds of violence cause Annie and Elly to make the scene. Anne tells Richard to play nice with Mike causing him to point out that Mike hit him first. Notice he says nothing about getting grabby with the comic book.

Panel 5: Annie says she didn't see Mike do squat. Richard whines "Well, he did."

Panel 6: Elly asks Mike if he did hit Tintin's evil mini-me. His response is worthy of the stereotypical Philadelphia lawyer: he PATTED Richard.

Panel 7: Elly signals her intent to spend the next ten years or so moaning "Why do Mike and Liz think violence is the answer? How did that happen?" by asking how hard the supposed pat was. He continues to give her an indirect, weaselly answer. This sort of thing wouldn't fly at my house. I'd be told not to be a damned smart-ass.

Panel 8: I'd also tell Elly not to be such a damned sucker; that's because she's buying his "I didn't mean to hit him" when she finally asks him point blank if he did strike first.

Panel 9: Annie reaffirms her commitment to losing control of her children's behavior by saying that since the kids have stopped worrying about who hit whom, the matter should be dropped. Elly concurs owing to a similar desire to martyr herself.

Panel 10: She does, however, wish parents could get the unvarnished truth out of the kids just once.

Summary: Prepare to spend the next decades of your lives wondering why your children won't behave, ladies.