September 7th, 2008

Indignant Candiru

Monday, 8 September 2008

I'm putting the thread for the first strip of the second week of the new era. If I know Lynn, two things might happen. First, we might continue with the exciting-as-watching-grout-mildew saga of Fred the Fish or we'll see another example of Elly's horrible parenting: trying to force Lizzie to walk before she's ready and making stupid remarks as she falls and hurts herself. As anyone, childless or not, knows, not all children mature at the same pace; we also know that Elly won't accept that because it's "unfair", meaning that it's inconvenient and reminds her that she doesn't know everything.

It's Column Frakking B! "B" as in "BONK!" By that, of course, I mean it's the strip we saw her working on in the clip the Syndicate put up on YouTube.

Panel 1: We see Lizzie taking her tentative first steps. Elly encourages her by saying "Come to Mommy, Elizabeth! That's it! You can do it!" as Connie looks on with an apprehensive look on her face. Perhaps she's aware that Liz's nickname is in the process of being retconned out of existence and it disturbs her.

Panel 2: Elly is happily yelling that "She's walking! She's walking!"
This would continue on but for the fact that she's not really all that steady on her feet.

Panel 3: As a matter of fact, her right leg gives out on her causing her to stumble and hit her head (with an audible "BONK!") on a coffee table that was stupidly put in the way.

Panel 4: As she hugs her crying child, Elly muses that she's not going to try to walk again for another month.

Summary: Liz has just learned trying new things is a bad, painful thing to be avoided at all costs. The best thing to do is to passively wait for things to happen and eventually marry the douchebag your mother chooses for you.

The rest of the Anthography

I'm done! Yay, I can get Anthony Caine out of my brain and I can get out of his. Anthony's brain? Not a pretty site.

Okay, I tried to put the next installment into a post, but it was too long. See here for the whole mess. The new part begins with "To Anthony’s relief, neither he nor Liz was called back for further testimony."