August 12th, 2008

Snarky Candiru2

Wednesday, 13 August 2008

As we continue the lead-up to the wedding, we can be sure of one thing: the Pattersons won't behave in a manner consonant with either probability or human decency. Let's thank heaven that howtheduck is right and Lynn has saved the worst for last. I'm personally waiting for the awful song April will sing; it's bound to be even more awkward than the one 21 and 24 sang at the Monarch's wedding.

Speaking of awkward, here's Blandthony....

Panel 1: Gordo is driving Sleezethony to his wedding and asks him if he's nervous. Anusthony says he's nervous about the ceremony but not about the girl. This time, he got it right because she has no personality to conflict his own warped, selfish one.

Panel 2: Gordo explains that he's known Awfulny and Lizardbreath a long time and seen him thorough crazy circumstances such as his employee marrying an evil career woman who didn't know she was supposed to be dominated by a wormy, selfish jackass with a martyrdom complex. This time, however, it's going to work. He's doing the right thing by marrying a spineless nitwit.

Panel 3: Nostache then asks his employer the 64,000 Dollar Question: Would he remarry if he had to.

Gord's answer has two parts.

Panel 4: Part One: Yes, because he had the marriage he could have ever hoped for. This covers the scenario in which Tracey dies of the progeria that she seems to suffer from.

Panel 5: Part Two: No, because having the best marriage he could hope for, he ain't about to screw that up.

Summary: We know where Creepthony is but we still have no idea where they're hiding Francoise. Say, you don't suppose Therese causes trouble by making off with her, do you? If so, she'd be doing the kid a favor. Not only does she have to wear that ugly dress, Daddy is wearing a lavender-gray tux and lavender bow-tie and the old, bald guy Daddy works for who looks at her like she's dirt has a teal one.

ETA: The banner has changed again. This time, she's using Panel 1 from the strip for 6 July 2008 with the caption "Last Minute Details".