August 10th, 2008

Royally Peeved Candiru

Monday, 11 August 2008

As we enter the second week of the Settlepocalypse, we can be certain that we'll see the following things: puns, glurge, unintentionally incestuous imagery and Muppet-mouth laughter. What we won't see is a thing that makes any sense.

According to Comics Curmudgeon, today's exercise in nonsense features the Delicate Genius conferring with two people from Mtigwhatever. The premise: "The Great White Goof has lots of friends and has made a lasting impact" despite no signs of either premise being true.

Panel 1: We start off with two brown people (who, despite looking nothing like the people we remember, are probably supposed to be Gary and Vivian) asking the Noble Scribe if this is the Patterson-Caine wedding. He says "Yes" and asks if they're friends of the bride or groom.

Panel 2: They say they're friends with Liz and that they're from Mtigwaki, the village where she pretended to be the Great White Teacher gracing the Exotic Semihumans with her honkie presence. Mike IDs them as Mr and Mrs Crow. If they are indeed Gary and Vivian Crane, Mike has just smilingly insulted them.

Panel 3: Not having read the memo that explains that Liz despises the Ignorant Savages for not warning her that Paul left her for someone who wasn't going to jerk him around, Mike asks them to be seated and that Liz will be glad they came.

Panel 4: As they sit down to receive their portion of payback (which was presaged by Mike's stupidly failing to question the guest list Liz handed him), Almighty Goldensprog tells Lawrence that Liz has a lot of friends that he's never met before.

Panel 5: Instead of telling him it's his own damned fault because he had his head wedged up his ass, Token Gay Man delivers a weak pun about how weddings unite the "who's who" with the "who's that".

Summary: Lynn is doing wonders for people's sobriety, isn't she?

ETA: As of approximately 5 PM EDT, 12 August, The "Crows" are now the "Cranes."