July 30th, 2008

Hells Yes!

Hell Freezing Over and Emotional Affairs

So Liz, on two month’s notice, is going to successfully pull together a Saturday wedding in the middle of wedding season. *goes to look out the window* No flying pigs around here. Anyone see them where they are? *checks online weather information* And no reports of Hell freezing over from southeast Michigan or likelihood it will sometime during the next seven to ten days, either. Jesus hasn’t returned, no news reports of the devil being seen ice-skating anywhere, John Barrowman’s still gay, David Tennant hasn’t shown up to announce his passion for me, I haven’t turned into a man and I’m still waiting to be filthy rich instead of stunningly gorgeous…this makes no sense. There’s no way someone as insignificant as Liz could—oh, wait. Nevermind. My bad. Of course Liz pulled off the impossible. It’s Foobverse and she’s a Patterson. The sun shines out of their butts, they crap gold, the world revolves around them, and the whole of Millborough, other than, would eagerly chug Drano if a Patterson told them to. Theresé wouldn’t because she’s a cold-hearted bitch who hates Liz for no reason and would refuse out of spite, Mira wouldn’t because her whole reason for existing is to argue with people and do the opposite of what they say, and Julia wouldn’t because she has the mentality of a preschooler, so she’d be too busy showing people her dental work to drink anything, and her reason for existing is to make the Pattersons can look smart, well-mannered, and articulate. Oh, yes, and say what Liz and Anthony won’t because...I have no idea. They haven’t made the mental transition from teen to adult? *shrugs* Doesn’t matter. Whatever the reason, Julia speaks for them. Lizthony’s Greek chorus, if you will, clarifying everything and filling in the details the main players can’t/won’t.


The link to an article on Decoding the Emotional Affair was in my email earlier. How totally aprops.
Snarky Candiru2

Thursday, 31 July 2008

Now that Lynn has successfully glossed over Elly's stint as a care-giver, let's see how Sheet Shaver spends the rest of the week. Knowing her, she'll say something stupid as she serves up John's greaseburger.

Well, John and greaseburgers are involved in this.

Panel 1: We start of with JSTF grilling up the evening meal on the barbeque. He asks Elly how Jim is. Instead of telling him that could have have jolly well taken a few minutes to see for himself instead of playing with toys, she reports that he's looking better and that Iris had a nice break from her self-appointed task as Jim's caregiver.

Panel 2: She then fills the panel with the statement that looking after him is a lot of work because of the fear that he'll fall or choke on something.

Panel 3: She then states that Jim is so lucky to have her around to care for him when he's failing, frightened or needs help. John could have mentioned that a licensed and trained professional could do all those things more effectively but instead simply agrees with her premise.

Panel 4: They then both thought-bubble their real concern; which one of them will have to do that when this happens to them. I thought that securing a free nursemaid was the whole point of the Settlepocalypse and Housening. They may approve of Iris suffering in silence and not asking anythong of them but the John and Elly I know would expect their kids to wait on them hand and foot.

Summary: In hindsight, it was obvious that this would be about them in the end.