July 13th, 2008

Snarky Candiru2

Settlepollcalypse Now!!

Poll #1222494 Further predictions for the Settlepocalypse
This poll is closed.

Anthony's next appearance will be

On his wedding day
67(39.2%)
At his bachelor party
37(21.6%)
at the TTH to defame his ex-wife
67(39.2%)

Liz's further involvement in the wedding plans will be

to pout about have to do things
36(21.1%)
to do nothing and still pout about having to work
91(53.2%)
to do nothing and smirk
8(4.7%)
to blame April for ruining everything
36(21.1%)

The wedding ceremony itself will

be tasteful
3(1.8%)
be mildly ugly
52(30.6%)
be an atrocity that makes the Coronation look like an impulse
115(67.6%)

The people of Mtigwaki

will show up begging for Liz's forgiveness
39(22.8%)
will throw her RSVP in the trash
28(16.4%)
will have forgotten who Liz is.
104(60.8%)

Jim will

get up and dance
59(34.5%)
get up and denounce Liz
2(1.2%)
die during the ceremony
110(64.3%)


The poll will close at 8 PM EDT, 13 July 2008
Calm Candiru

Monday, 14 July 2008

Now that Lynn has done the expected and depicted her female characters running around screaming in anguish due to amazing good fortune and her male characters acting like Neanderthals, it seems like one of two things will happen. Either Connie will appear and lead us in to wasting more time or Therese, the Moral Dissonance Fairy, will make trouble. "Making trouble", of course, being Lynn's code phrase for reminding us that the Pattersons are immoral idiots who want to have a great big party to celebrate ruining her life.

Well, we do get to see someone named Poirier today: Lawrence, the token two-fer.

Panel 1: We start the proceedings at his place of business. He asks April if she, instead of Liz, is in charge of the flowers. April confirms that her older sister dumped a steaming-hot plate of the bride's responsibility into her lap.

Panel 2: She then explains that Liz wants something to go with violet and teal ribbons. Guess we know how much Mira's opinion means to the Patterswine. In any event, Lawrence will look to see if there's something appropriate in the Eyesore section of the catalog.

Panel 3: He then asks if Liz knows that Elly bitched and moaned her way into making him give away the flowersthese flowers are a gift out of the kindness of his and his partner Nick's hearts. April says yes.

Panel 4: She then notes that's very kind of him. He responds with a pun about how well business is doing.

Summary: We're about to be bombarded with more examples of people kissing Elly's big, fat ass this week. I hope you still have that bucket handy.