May 14th, 2008

Snarky Candiru2

Thursday, 15 May 2008

It's Day Four of the Bowing-Out of Warren Blackwood and I'm eager to see how stupid it is now that Lynn's sputtering and lurching her way to the unsatisfactory conclusion to his storyline. It reminds me of the sequence from "Homicide: Life on the Streets" wherein a detective is complaining about what he called accordion traffic. Reading FOOB gives me the same sensation of moving a few inches only to stop again and feel as if I've been punched in the gut.

Panel 1: As we continue where we left of yesterday, Warren tells Liz about the job offer we who read his bio knew about.

Panel 2: He states that he, for some unguessable reason, wanted her input on whether he should accept a high-paying, exciting job...

Panel 3: ...only to show how much the death of Captain Boomerang messed him up by stating that since she's engaged, that's pointless. She confirms that her opinion is worthless by stating the obvious. He'd have accepted with or without her approval.

Panel 4: He agrees with that but says he'd have asked her to come with him. She says she'd have said no because she got all that silly need to expand her horizons out of her system...

Panel 5 ...while he's condemned himself to live a pointless, barren existence filled with useless things like personal growth and fulfillment. The unlucky fool will never have the freefloating rage and constant frustration that is Foobkind's destiny.

Hypothesis: Warren is getting off damned easy. Alls he's got to do is mutter the hateful words "It ain't made of gold, idjit!" and he'll join the legion of sane people worth knowing who point at the Pattersons and make the P.U. gesture. Also, asking a Patterson about risk is sort of futile.