March 8th, 2008

Saturday, March 8, 2008

It's time for another exciting instalment of "That's My Patterson!" Studio audience?

<audience cheers>

Alrighty! Today's show starts with Panel 1, where Liz is explaining to Anthony who answered her phone. Isn't is so nice that Anthony lets Liz explain who that was? I hate to say it, but Anthony could sure teach Liz some lessons about trust and explanations. ISN'T THAT RIGHT, PAUL?

<Paul sign lights up. Audience goes wild>

We now continue to Panel 2, where we don't learn anything, unless it's Liz tries to give a not-so-subtle clue.

Panel 3 has Warren repeating Liz's statement, because obviously, there's nothing as innocent as two people repeating the same statement. It's like when you have kids: you hear a noise, you yell "What's going on up there!?" and two voices yell back "Nothing!"

<canned audience laughter>

Meanwhile, Liz signs off with Anthony. Hey, Liz! I've got a better time to call Anthony back! How about... never?

<audience goes wild>

Moving on to Panel 4, Liz tells Warren she doesn't want him messing up her life again. It's going to be hard to top what you did to your own life, girl!

<canned audience laughter>

But oh, what's this? Warren doesn't want to mess up her life... in fact, in Panel 5, he says he wants to be part of it!

<audience "oooooooooohs">

I'll never understand why all these men fall over the chance to be with Liz. Seriously, folks, what the hell?

<audience murmurs in agreement>

And can we get a shot of Liz's face in the last panel? Because I bet she's looking gobsmacked. And why would she do that?

Because... That's.... my... Patterson!

Goodnight, everybody!

<audience cheers and applauds>
Snarky Candiru2

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Warning: the chief souce of what Lynn mistakenly calls humor in today's strip is the thing that most irritates trumanf about For Better or For Worse: A bunch of Pattersons making the following noises at the dinner table: CHOMP! SLUCK! SLLLOKKK!! GLLLMMMPPHHHH!!! As we begin, we see Liz making sandwiches for Françoise. Things are going well until the child opens up the sandwich and licks out the jam. When you consider that she just turned three Friday, this might not seem like it's that big a deal but Liz decides it's time to teach her some manners. Unfortunately, her way of dealing with the situation is to show Francie how disgusting eating like that looks by making a grotesque pig of herself. This backfired for two reasons. First, her undignified gobbling and messy face have sabotaged her attempt to establish herself as an authority figure because Françoise thinks Daddy has hired (and plays house with) an unusually stupid and juvenile baby-sitter. The second is that the child has a memory and realizes that the woman may say she thinks it's important to have good table manners, she says the same thing about speaking correct English. She doesn't practice what she preaches and the little girl knows it.