November 16th, 2007

Football

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Panel 1: Liz returns from washing her wardrobe which is, according to the Yahoo colorists, entirely brown. Michael was jealous of Lizzie because she was a girl and he was a boy? The Halloween crossdressing strip attains a whole new meaning now.

Panel 2: But apparently Lizzie was jealous of Mike, too. Because he wasn't a baby and had the cognitive power to feel complex emotions like jealousy? My head hurts.

April actually has to ask what things Michael could do that BABY Liz couldn't. Apes, you need to loosen that whisk-broom-lookin' bun.

Panel 3: "He could climb up and get stuff out of the cupboards." So far in the past two weeks, we have:
- Mike in the basement near unsecured bleach and detergent
- Mike running off to the park unsupervised (and not telling his parents where he's going)
- Mike wandering the house alone
- Lizzie in the restraint-free seat/bedpan on the table with no adult supervision
And now we can add "Mike climbing on counters" to the list. It's a wonder either of these kids survived to become bland, passive adults.

Liz throws out a few more things that, shockingly, a young boy can do but a baby girl can't: open the fridge, play outside ...

Panel 4: HOLY SHIT I NEED THAT UNSECURED BLEACH AND DETERGENT FOR MY BRAIN.

I don't care how innocent and childlike her curiosity is; I don't ever want to think about Mike's junk that intimately again. Or about how germy that toilet rim that Liz is grabbing must be.