November 6th, 2007

pissed
  • trumanf

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

 
The 'Burbs and the Be's

So this is where they get the idea that Mike is a Delicate Genius. John is hit by the Question: What is Sex? Because John doesn't have the sense to give his five year old a age-appropriate answer to The Question, he instead loads the kids down with Cliff Notes from Biology 101. Drone, drone, drone, genus and species and plants and animals, zzzt! 

Mikey, of course, doesn't give a shit about the answer and in fact, doesn't even understand the question. He knows enough to realize "six" sounds like "sex" and so ha ha, got one over on the old man. You know, he's a punkass creep and all, but I can see a typical kid pulling this joke and that's pretty slice of life; okay, Lynn, you get a kewpie doll for that one small instance. At any rate, he doesn't know about sex and doesn't really care either, he just wants to be a comedian at the moment.

But then John doesn't consider that Mike's just pulling a joke. He's convinced himself that, why, Mikey must be a Fucking GENIUS or something, to ask a question about sex and then be so casual about the answer....! Why else would he not listen to the golden oration of John the Wise Father? He must already know the answers! That must be it!

Or some damn thing or other. And so we have it, sportsfans: the Origin of the Theory of The Delicate Genius Among Us.

Pardon me while I throw up in the wastebasket. I have a laminated picture of the Pattersons taped to the bottom as a target.