October 26th, 2007


Friday, October 26

Panel One: Pretty straightforward. Hard to snark Balding Teacher very much. April and Silhouette are the only students, but otherwise, this is just a setup panel. In other words, we could have done without it.

Panel Two: Who hit April with the ugly stick?! And random person we've never seen before isn't winning any prizes either. Notice that April can't be bothered to greet this individual of undeterminate gender in return.

Panel Three: Oh, unfamiliar person is wearing a skirt, so at that school, that means they're most likely female. "Have you got that history essay to write?" I'm not sure what the point of this question is. Does she want to copy the essay? Is she the homework police? And of course we have a bunch of "an's" to remind us that April is young and doesn't speak properly yet. I notice that she has a book to review -- you think they're forcing her to write a review of her brother's crap?

Panel Four: Again, a completely unnecessary panel -- devoted to a single sound effect! Give me a break.

Panel Five: Oh, hahaha. Way to shoot for the obvious pun. This is Lynn Johnston, saying "I have no intention of resolving the issue between April and Gerald, so I will generate a filler strip." Honestly, strips like these make me wonder if she doesn't have some sort of strip randomizer that just makes things up when she runs out of ideas. It would explain why we see so many of the same ideas over and over.

And in Coffee Talk: Drowning in Kool-Aid.

Saturday, October 27

I got tired of waiting for the official site to update, so I went Googling for the Yahoo colored version. Why the hell does Eva have WHITE hair?

Panel One: Gerald was "pretty bummed" that April doesn't want to be a professional musician. Yeah, he was "pretty bummed" in the way that the Leaning Tower of Pisa is "slightly off-balance." He tried to end their relationship over it, for pete's sake. Do you think he tried to break up with Duncan and Luis, too?

Panel Two: Eva wants to keep singing. Is there any reason she shouldn't? Or is she physically incapable of singing without Patterson music to back her up? April may be the Martian Child of the Patterson clan, but she does still retain some of those magic genes, I guess. No, wait, I've got it. If the band breaks up, Eva will almost never be in the strip again, and non-Pattersons don't have lives outside these panels. So if she's not singing with April, Eva can't sing at all. Meanwhile, to judge by April's expression, a large hairy insect is currently making its way into (or possibly out of) Eva's ear.

Panel Three: Make the most of the time you're still together, girls! Cue up the stirring violin music in the background. Nothing can separate a Patterson from his or her first true love -- maybe that's Eva instead of Gerald, for April? Oh, wait, no. That would actually be INTERESTING, unlike this strip.

Panel Four: And the only thing I can guess here is that the girls pulled out the eyeliner and attempted to make themselves look like Death from the Sandman comics, or possibly the main character from A Clockwork Orange. Then they sat back, turned on the school bus's internal DVD system, and started watching Beaches.

Schlocktober in the FOOBiverse crawls slowly to its long-awaited death. We can only pray that the strip follows.