August 5th, 2007

Battle stations!

The Lovepocalypse, or Likepocalypse, or Settleocalypse, or whatever we're calling it now, commences this week! lughcifer volunteered without knowing this, so lotsa luck!

And thanks be to megan_koumori for navigating April's descent into Pattersonian submission!

Beyond that, albuquirkymom has the week of 8/13 - 8/19, and rainbowjehan gets 8/20 - 8/16. Anyone want the August/September crossover? Remember, it'll include the September retcons.

I Sorta Likepocalypse You

Am still hosting the party but am opening the thread for you all. Snark away and I'll catch up to you!

My first impression: GodDAMN! Lizthony, you make me hurl. If I wanted to be a size 4 model, I would love you for life and think of you fondly as I kneel before the porcelain throne.

Hurl away, folks! :D

ETA: k, party is 2:15 am. I can hurl to my heart's stomach's content, out of the view of my friends.

Panel 1: Scene setting view featuring random kids on a hobby horse. If I didn't already know it was Lizthony and Francie, I'd be saying "WTF?! Who is this?" Could be Mike and Dee with the kids except we know that Merrie and Robin probably never leave the house...evah! But that's a different snark for another day...

Granthony: "Sure, we'll be right here." Yes, Francie. Daddy will be spinning Lizzie around in circles like the child she is and you'll be bumped out of the No. 1 position in Daddy's life. Weep, little girl, weep! Someone's going to replace you in the gated playhome in the basement and you'll be on the street selling matches on the street corner in the dead of winter. Your only hope now is to find your Twu Love [TM] and hope that he can bail your diapered ass out of this predicament...

Panel 2:
"Francoise is a beauty." Whatever, LizardBreath. I know you're sucking up because Francie doesn't have the Lips O' Loveliness [TM], so ergo, she can't be beautiful. You. Lie. Lizard!

BTW: WTF is up with your tank top that doesn't cover your belly button? Call me prude but doesn't that make you little better than a slut in Milborough, Lascivious Lizzie? *cough* Becky! *cough* Next thing you know, you'll show signs of being ambitious and then you'll come to a terrible end, Lizard, mark my words...

"She has the best of Therese and me." Francie has already stalked her admirers claiming that she has no hoooooooooooooome? Damn, but that precocious...sorry, precious. I get those two mixed up....

Panel 3: "Thank you, Lizard for putting out." "No, Thank you, Granthony, for the Moustache Ride" (I guess that would be a NoStache Ride in this case) ::vomits:: Sorry, I had one too many martinis at my party. I have to just spew and move onto the next panel.

Panel 4:
Polite, schmolite. You know you had your wicked way with each other by the lake at the wedding and now you're not so sure that the SortaLikepocalypse is what you want, you morons. Just admit that it was due to the Author's Shiteous Imagination bad champagne and go your separate ways. But no...that would require the two of you to have, oh...I dunno...common sense? Awareness? Intelligence? A pulse? God, you two are a total waste of oxygen and skin. Poor Francie is going to have to raise herself to make it in this world...

Panel 5: Okay, why is this horrid fecking barf on milquetoast strung out to five panels?! It's four panels too many. But I digress...

Oh. OH! I've never...evah!...seen the Lizard look so vapid candid vacuous entreating. How can I not be moved by this? Granthony, his cold, dead heart ripped out of his chest by Thérèse, is not amused. His eyeless face is impassive. His small, chilly smirk hides his intention to rend LizardBreath from limb to limb once she checks into the Hostel.

Okay...that's now how this scenario works out, but I can dream, can't I? Damn it. A week of the SortaKindaMaybeLikepocalypse. Karma is a total bitch. I'm sorry, Universe! Forgive me my sins!! Please! Please!!