December 19th, 2006

Wednesday, December 20

So how's this going to play out? We know it'll be the Kelpfroths' fault, whatever it is. We know the Pattersons Redux will have to spend Christmas at home (because only your parents' house is truly "home") even if it's only temporary, until the smoke clears out. But the fate of the manuscript, or the people in the building, I can't predict.

Panel 1: Okay, there's the smoke alarm. Mike's running, along the hallway, which is a good sign: not back up to the attic for his manuscript.

Panel 2: Is it me, or does Mike come off kind of like Deanna is his mom, and he needs her to fix this, tell him what to do? "Something's wrong! The smoke alarm's going off!" is rather unnecessary, I would think. First of all, smoke alarms are supposed to be loud enough to wake people up; I mean, what if you live alone? And second, The Man of the House, which Mike is supposed to be, should be saying, "Get up! Get out! FIRE!" instead of "Mommy, something's wrong!"

Panel 3: Okay, really picking a nit here, but in Deanna's situation, I wouldn't be taking time to rub my head. I'd be airborne, flying towards my kids' room. Situations like this cannonball you out of sleep, and concern for your kids way trumps "ooh my head" disorientation.

Panel 4: Bitch, put the coats and boots on AFTER you get outside. This is no time to color-coordinate. We never had a fire, but from an early age, my parents told me, and told my regular babysitter, that if there was a fire, get out immediately. Call 911 from the neighbor's house, and don't stop for shit.

Panel 5: Okay, that almost made me laugh.