August 19th, 2006

Sunday, August 20

Panel 1: Who's yacking, and about to be pulled over? Elly?

Panel 2: Ah, it's Mike! With the love of his life his best buddy by his side! But does everyone in this family drive a station wagon? And why does he yack-yack-yack with Weed, but never talk to Deanna?

Panel 3: Jeez, it looks like the cop car is exerting a magnetic force!

Panel 4: Shouldn't they have noticed the lights and sirens a panel ago? Weed looks really, really baked. And Mike appears to have calibrated the driver's seat so he can "accidentally" stroke Weed's thigh while shifting gears.

Panel 5: Yeah, imagine Mike paying attention to anything but the dulcet tones of his own voice, creating deathless, extemporaneous prose. Where are he and Weed going, anyway? And Weed in silhouette looks like Richard Nixon.

Panel 6: When did he admit to speeding? And OMG, $100! They'll NEVER get their own house now! (I mean, Mike and Deanna won't. (I think.))

Panel 7: Augh! Omigod! A Patterson has to accept the consequences of his actions! Mike better write a blistering editorial, stat!

Panel 8: Ah, the old Expression of Goggle-Eyed Amazement. And no, Weed, it doesn't work that way. Any money you have to pay in fines is a sunk cost, even if it's less than it might be. Unless he's using the phrase "made 100 bucks" to mean that the fine itself is impresive. In which case, I have to wonder what Weed's police file looks like. And if his nickname springs solely from his given last name.

In short, screw you Mike.