June 17th, 2006

Lynn's body image must be in the toilet again.

I know that's the reason she sometimes (pretty much all the time, recently) draws Elly to look absolutely hideous. Because it makes her feel better about herself. Or maybe it's Rod she finds repulsive lately. Maybe she drew this strip in order to psych herself up to give him some Father's Day sex. Naah. Probably just to be able to touch him long enough to give him a Father's Day back rub, like Elly does here.

I hate, hate, hate the strips where Lynn draws her characters to look truly hideous in the morning. Okay, I know men wake up with stubble. It looks 10 times worse when Lynn draws it, though. But also, and what probably bugs me more, is that she always draws the characters with bags under their eyes--even purple bags under their eyes. Even when they're not hung over. (Hard to see today, because John has his glasses on already. Do any of you put your glasses on before turning off the alarm? Not me, and I'm blind as a bat.) Now, who among us looks so hideous and wrecked after a good night's sleep? Certainly not most people!

I'm sure those wingdings coming out of John's head are meant to connote confusion, but to me, it looks like dandruff and bad breath and lice or what have you flying off his head. Disgusting. And somehow, the robe and slippers manage to look filthy to me. All of Lynn's nightwear always looks dirty to me.

Maybe that's because the characters are always scratching their asses when they wake up!! Gah! This disgusts me. I do not know ANYONE who scratches their ass when they wake up! No one in my family ever did it, and we are an earthy bunch. I can't remember EVER scratching my ass! Pattersons must have the itchiest asses in the world! Try WASHING!!

It's like Lynn does this to drive home the point, "Even good people are disgusting and crude in private and do things that make them look hideous and repulsive." Okay, maybe true. But I don't want to see it drawn out in detail for me on the Sunday comics page!

And that's just the first two panels.

April gives John a membership to a fitness club. Now me, I'm not a big fan of the practical gift that basically amounts to telling a person to work harder. But we do know that John is a runner and does like to work out. Also, I know what gym memberships cost, and even if she just bought him a month's worth, that is a huge gift from a 15 year old. So, good on you April--but next time, don't be such a puritanical Patterson, and try getting him something more fun. Fun is OK, despite what your mother told you.

Hovercar to the gym. John looks just like Elly as he's going up the stairs.

Now, why would John kill himself with a workout like that? It isn't necessary to do that to show April that her present is appreciated. John is not ancient, but at 55, a person's joints really can't take that kind of pounding, and John should know that. (In fact, I'm surprised he's still shown to be a runner, and is not also shown to have the attendant knee problems. Both my parents had to give up running in favor of exercise gentler on the knees by the time they were 45.) Maybe he was trying to impress Pete, who definitely looks impressed. Hello John, you paid the membership fee--that's all you owe them.

Elly seems to have guessed that he would do this to himself, and so copped out on the gift-giving with a mere backrub. Which would be an okay gift I suppose if she were good at it, or if it were fun and might actually have a chance of leading to sex. But we know it won't be any of those things. Giving a good massage requires upper arm strength. We know Elly has none. We know she is totally out of shape, by her own admission. She's going to give him a pathetic two minute rub. Then her arms will get tired, and/or she'll notice that her arm flaps are swinging unattractively in the breeze, and she will quit.

Not to mention, it probably makes John's flesh crawl to have her touching him. I know it makes mine crawl to have to watch it.