June 13th, 2006

See how excited Elly is at the prospect of death?

It's positively freakish how thrilled she is about all this.

I feel sorry for Grandpa. Elly is standing over him, bent down to look him straight in the eye. This posture is meant to intimidate, as it mimics the body language between an adult and a child being chastized for some misdeed. She gets right in his face and delivers her high-pressure sales pitch. Then she plops her fat ass down on his ottoman so that she can remain aggressively within his personal space while he ponders the question.

I also feel sorry for Iris. This exchange makes it clear that Jim and Iris have made no plans to be interred together. This indicates one of two things:

1) They had mutually decided to be interred with their first spouses, OR
2) They hadn't discussed the question yet.

And in comes Big Buttinsky Elly, presenting a new option...and making it clear that she wants an answer RIGHT AWAY, without giving Jim and Iris time to discuss the question alone. Also, the proposition she presents does not appear to include Iris in any way. A decent person would consider that this is the kind of decision most spouses would like to be able to discuss in private, and probably at some length.

But no. Elly has to have things her way, and she's going to intimidate Grandpa into going along.

Strip predictions for the rest of the week:

Thursday: Elly goes to Montreal and chains herself to the door of Phil and Georgia's home, refusing to be budged until they agree to be buried with the rest of them in Chapel Hill Natural Wetland Cemetary. After all, they have no children, so won't they feel all cold and lonely in in a pathetic plot for two? And surely they don't want to be buried amongst the Frenchies!

Friday: Elly presents her plan to have Marian, Farley, and Mr. B dug up and reinterred "with the family, so we'll all be together when we're, you know, dust to dust." To save the cash, she's going to pay April to do all the digging "as a summer job." John can haul the corpses around in his new Crevasse!

Saturday: Elly's plans go awry when she finds out that Chapel Hill is going to charge her an extra $10,000 to allow her to transplant the Farley Tree into the cemetary, and is incensed when the Consumer Services Bureau declines to investigate.