May 19th, 2006


Saturday, May 20

Panel 1: The policeman is unfortunately not Constable Paul Wright or my choice, Brad Luggsworth. Dr. John Patterson, DDS and criminal no longer at large, cannot even look the officer in the face or answer yes or no questions coherently; he is so racked with guilt.

Panel 2: This silhouette makes no sense whatsoever. Why do you want the focus drawn to the police car, when what we really want to see is the smirking reactions of Gerald and Duncan? I have become more and more convinced that the real reason for these silhouettes is that the artist doesn’t want to take the time to draw all the details of something.

Panel 3: The police officer appears to be wandering about in the middle of the road to fill out his ticket. John Patterson adds guilt that doesn’t belong to his situation, in order to set up the punch line. John, it is illegal to be speeding. I think that even in Milborough it is not against the law to pass people. However, it should be against the law to stretch the truth to create a straight line in order to set up a punch line.

Panel 4: Suddenly we are looking at the scene in a fish-eye lens. The car to the left has a windshield that goes completely around the car. The police car bulges out in the middle like it has a full stomach. Poor John. He has to suffer the humiliation of being “Hooted” by extremely long-armed passengers in cars passing him, or in the case of the square car the furthest in front being driven by someone with no body and simply an arm extending out of the passenger side seat. There’s nothing worse than being taunted by just an arm. Maybe it’s one of those odd Dr. Seuss characters like the pants with no one inside them, or some odd pun like “Look at that ‘arm or de car’.” “Armored car”, get it? Sorry, this week has worn on me. I cannot tell if the hooters are giving him the middle-finger salute in anger for passing them, or if Milboroughans are just naturally rude to persons getting a speeding ticket or if these are actually members of some owl-watching society that are pointing at an unusual owl discovery at the side of the road and calling to it in a way only owls can understand. I do know those clouds just came out of nowhere. Scary.