May 1st, 2006

May retcons

Elly: The other photography students are younger than you? Or do you just assume EVERYONE is younger than you? And since when is "partying" a priority for you?

And I would scoff at the idea of Liz incorporating "cooking spuds" into a lesson plan, except that the hell of it is, she probably would. And why would she send Liz cash at the end of the school year, when she's just going to come home to fall into Anthony's arms work at the garden center?

"Fast and dirty has become slower and somewhat cleaner." I don't even want to contemplate that one. I am glad to see April's learning to cook, but I bet there's not nearly as much whining from April as there are meltdowns from Elly. And I wouldn't pat myself on the back too much for your alleged "friendship". More like, she's learned how to placate you. "Look, Mom, a muffin shop!"

And she sees twenty years of activity ahead of her? WTF? If she has that much juice left in her, why didn't she keep working?!

John: Yeah, yeah: you are what you drive, you're whipped, and you get to tell yourself you're better off now.

Day in the Life of a Dentist. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Liz: Oh please oh please oh PLEASE get a job anywhere other than Mtig. And don't give your parents your address. And especially don't give Big Mouth April your address. Well, I don't think she's blabbed anything recently, but I still don't trust her as far as I can throw her.

Oh, cut the cord already. You chose to live up north, which means missing birthdays. Can't. Have it. Both. Ways. Ooh, and you got an email that affected you???

WTF do you mean, you want to see the changes Elly's made to the house? You and Mike both always had conniptions when you came home and she had so much as moved the couch! "I want everything to stay the same forever an' ever," that was your motto. You want to spend time with April? Why, so you can show her how to squeeze her zits? And Robin has CONSTANT illnesses? That is NOT GOOD, and something we ought to be hearing about IN THE STRIP! (Well, maybe, maybe not. Too much illness would take the strip into Tom Batiuk territory. But it WOULD be more interesting than "Kelpfroths Bang On the Ceiling Chapter 207.") And who did you call: your family, or Anthony himself? But at least you only called him your "friend". And WHY do you want to get involved in your family's lives?! What about YOUR life?!

And oh by the way there's this guy Paul.

April: Ah, I see Eva's not ambitious! So you all should be okay. And yes, I can imagine how working at the bookstore would be a LOT more appealing without your mom flapping around. OTOH, since she was only there an hour a week, perhaps it won't make much difference after all. And I'm not sure how that Wikipedia comment was supposed to be funny. It's certainly inaccurate.

Mike: Well, okay; he's not leaving it all to Deanna! And ACK! Didn't I call it about looking into Robin's eyes?!

I have to say, this letter is bearable for once. He's caring about people besides himself, and not blathering on and on about how great he is at these writing jobs that don't exist. Thank you, Lynnions. You must have known we can only take so much on top of today's strip (and what is almost certain to come).

Deanna: I'm not sure having a pharmacist for a mom is ineffectual. More like, this particular pharmacist mom is the problem. And okay, first it was fraudsters, now it's shoplifters. You sure have to deal with a lot.

Re: Weed and Carleen: That's another storyline that would be more interesting than what we've been getting: the two of them working together. And of course, everything's the K's fault.

Jim: I'm old, I'm old, I'm old. And please don't make me picture Iris bending over.

Pets: Oh man; Jim has been reduced to an oldster scooter? Or did we already see that in the strip? And ha ha, you made it sound like it was the animals, but it was really John and April. Oh, Elly, you're a stitch.

Tuesday, May 2

Panel 1: WTF? That is the most junior-high stuff I've seen Liz do yet. What, she's going to analyze every word of "Anthony split with his wife" to try to extract the deeper meaning? And then she's going to call John and ask, "But HOW did he say it? How did he look? Was he more smiling or more depressed? DID HE ASK ABOUT ME?!!"

Panel 2: Okay, so it's not necessarily all about Anthony. Still, poring over an email like that is pathetic. For once I agree with Jesse: why don't you concentrate on what's happening where you are?

Or is he about to say she's the one being gossiped about, re: Paul, causing Liz to get a Torn Between Two Lovers expression?

Panel 3: Yep. And she's looking contemplative. And "Coffee Cake". Always with the baked goods. Guess Mtig is too far north for Horny Tim's.

Panel 4: Oh for crissakes. I thought she was in tune with the natives' Unique Sense of Humortm.

Panel 5: Now she looks like she's going to throw up.

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Well, I guess we don't have to light the torches just yet. Keep them handy, though.

Tuesday, May 2

"An'"s: One.

Panel 1: WTF? That is the most junior-high stuff I've seen Liz do yet. What, she's going to analyze every word of "Anthony split with his wife" to try to extract the deeper meaning? And then she's going to call John and ask, "But HOW did he say it? How did he look? Was he more smiling or more depressed? DID HE ASK ABOUT ME?!!"

Panel 2: Okay, so it's not necessarily all about Anthony. Still, poring over an email like that is pathetic. For once I agree with Jesse: why don't you concentrate on what's happening where you are?

Or is he about to say she's the one being gossiped about, re: Paul, causing Liz to get a Torn Between Two Lovers expression?

Panel 3: Yep. And she's looking contemplative. And "Coffee Cake". Always with the baked goods. Guess Mtig is too far north for Horny Tim's. And these artists simply cannot draw feet.

Panel 4: Oh for crissakes. I thought she was in tune with the natives' Unique Sense of Humortm.

Panel 5: Now she looks like she's going to throw up.

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Well, I guess we don't have to light the torches just yet. Keep them handy, though.