May 31st, 2005

Letter predictions

Okay, I found them. A guy named Mike posted on Elly's Revenge a while back:

Also, don't you just dread the umpteen retellings of this story in June's letters from the Pattersons? Elly: "I guess you've all heard about Merrie's little accident." Dr. John: "Meredith broke her arm, but Deanna is the one who is scarred." Mike: "We had a tough break -- literally." Liz: "As a teacher, I'm used to seeing kids with cuts, bruises, casts and stitches." April: "Becky is soooo roadside." Edgar: "Woof." Jim: "I'm not dead! Don't close the lid! Help! Can anyone hear me!?"

I just bet he turns out to be totally prescient!

Wednesday, June 1

Panel 1: Okay, so what's the deal here? It's another day? Or does Mike only come home to change, eat, and, as ell_eye_cee pointed out in yesterday's thread, ignore his daughter while focusing on his !SON!, and then book out to Weed's place? ETA: D'oh! You're right; it is a bar.

And Weed says, "Already?" Thus indicating that it hasn't been very long since the big move. What is this, the chronotons episode of Futurama?

Panel 2: Punch in, Mike. From the Seaweeds' point of view, YOU are the inconsiderate ones.

And we've got UML (unless Mike has that premature aging thing that Elly and Anthony have, and already he's so decrepit that it takes great effort to get into and out of chairs) a paragraph break inside a talk balloon, and oddly formal phrasing for a convo with an old pal. "And, like us, they have a two-year lease." Why not, "They have a two-year lease the same as us."?

Panel 3: But you're not leading a quiet, peaceful life. You're not minding your own business: you provoked your neighbors with that bratty tape line. And you're crazy, all right! Speed-freak eyes again!

Panel 4: Now, what does Weed mean by that? Mike should write a fiction story, or even a novel, to get this out of his system? Or is he going to write a sizzling expose for Portrait: "Neighbors From Hell and the Martyrs Who Live Above Them"? And for once, instead of the Open-Mouthed Look of Awe At A New Concept, we get a shaking hand holding a cofH^H^H^H^beer mug. Complete with motion lines, of course.

In any case, this really boggles my mind. Unless...maybe it'll play out like this. Mike jabberjaws with Weed for two more strips. Saturday's strip will have him driving home, musing to himself about how great everything really is and he shouldn't get bent out of shape, because he has a terrific family and a lovely...

"HOME!" he thinks in the last panel, his mouth open as we look past him to the building engulfed in flames.

It could happen. It might still be too little too late (a freakin' MONTH of this already?), but it could happen.