May 16th, 2005

Tuesday, May 17

Crimeny, Lynn and her time jumps. Okay, so yesterday, we were establishing that you are either with the Pattersons or you are against them, and if you are against them, then you are with the terrorists. Merrie was in mortal danger, and Madame SeaweedSpit is cordially invited to STFU. Cut to Merrie with her arm in a cast, so we don't get to see Deanna get her feet held to the fire about "Just how did this happen, Mrs. Patterson?"* It's Liz on the ice all over again! I guess Mme. SeaweedSpit got her hash settled, though.**

Panel 1: Well, whaddya know. Lovey uses a Yiddish term that actually exists.

Panel 2: Deanna, punch in. Anyone can be "used to stairs". That doesn't mean they can defy the laws of physics when riding a toy that didn't appear as if it was meant to be ridden. Hey, she's used to water, too: why don't you toss her in Lake Ontario and sit on the beach reading pharmacy journals?

Panel 3: Well, yes, accidents do happen. And no, you can't watch them all the time. But...

Panel 4: ...it just doesn't seem that Deanna keeps careful enough watch over her kids any of the time. And I still don't understand why Merrie was out in the hallway when the objective was to be "as quiet as possible."

*When I was ~4 years old, my grandma knitted me a pair of slippers. Very sweet, except that when the wool came in contact with the slippery kitchen floor, I went down like a bowling pin and busted my chin open on a kitchen chair. For years, my mom would tell the anecdote about how carefully the ER staff questioned her before they accepted that it really was an accident. But as she says, being suspicious of every injury helps the kids who didn't sustain their injuries by accident, while turning a blind eye helps no one.

**I just wonder how many property owners do business the way Lovey does. Interestingly enough, our landlady is about her age, though she’s not a walking stereotype, and she manages a lot of apartment buildings. A few years ago, there was a dispute between two other residents in our building about the storage spaces; Resident A thought he was entitled to a certain unit, and Resident B thought differently. I don’t know how it was resolved, but I’d be very surprised if it came down to which one of the residents our landlady liked better.