May 13th, 2005

Saturday, May 14

Entry #372 in the "Pattersons are martyred victims" series.

Panel 1: Man, I love these subtle, nuanced characterizations. Right off the bat, John Kerry in drag points out the presence of a baby crying and a tricycle in the hall, indicating that to her way of thinking, the whole building is contaminated. Lovey never told her there would be CHILDREN in the building! See, we can't wait until Merrie does something arguably objectionable, like leaving toys on the stairway that can be tripped over, that a reasonable person might not be okay with. No, Lynn has to make the line absolutely clear and a yard wide. People who don't have kids are that way because they HATE children and want to drown them like puppies.

Panel 2: Kelpfroth.




I just googled that. Kelpfroth does not match any documents.


And Krelbutz only matches the offical site and an entry from Elly's Revenge.

Meanwhile, we get the Snort of Total Unreasonableness.

Panel 3: And Lovey offers her an out, but of course she'd rather throw her weight around. How can Lovey guarantee that a baby won't cry, for potato's sake?

Panel 4: Now, what's the deal with that? Dare we hope that Merrie has rejected her Patterson genes and declared, "That's bull...*, Daddy! I'm not gonna live in fear!" Of course, in that case, I hope it's Robin crying and not her because she injured herself in the process of self-assertion.

Panel 5: Ack! Lovey shouldn't be running so fast, with both feet off the ground, at her age! And is SeaweedSpit merely finishing her sentence, or is "QUIET!" an order directed at the Pattersons? I gotta say, nothing kills me like people who object to noise, and end up making more noise than the people they're objecting to.

I mean, seriously. Loud music and loud parties are one thing. People don't need to do that stuff. But babies cry. Toddlers run around. What can you do? This is a no-win situation...and we all know how it will be resolved.

*censored in case someone's reading this at work