May 2nd, 2005

Monday, May 2

"An'"s: 2.

Gratuitous "quotes": 2.

Panel 1: Doesn't it seem like this strip jumps back and forth in time at will? One would think that Mike would have vacated the attic long ago. But of course, he's so busy being the Great Editor and telling his kids tall tales about chocolate boob milk. Silly things like a promise to a friend just have to take a back seat.

Panel 2: And why is it that Weed always looks either gloomy or dumbfounded?

Panel 3: But I applaud him for using the adult "and", rather than the "an'" that seems to be poor overwhelmed Mike's last link to childhood freedom.

Panels 4-5: Whoa, Mike is bitter! Now where does he get that, about Carleen having ownership of the closet? Not all women are clotheshorses, after all. But heck, Weed can always suspend a few hangers from his nose if it comes to that.

And Mike thinks it's a burden to have to put the seat down? How many freakin' toilet jokes do we have to hear around here, anyway? Lynn, dear, just because you can make these references doesn't mean you have to do one every week.

All in all, it seems that we're in for another week of "Married life sucks". Just get divorced already. Or start having an affair with Martha; that'll relieve some tension.

And as a footnote, I'll say that I absolutely love Carleen. Just because the only women Mike's familiar with are shrews, doesn't mean she's another one. After all, she gave up Ned even after having made him a pair of shorts (which is so something I would do!). I don't see how she's going to cramp Weed's style.

Monthly gripes!

Okay. First of all, I don't like this new setup. So we've got tabs to other highlights such as the Shrine to St. Shannon, which means the animations are squashed into a smaller space, the letters have a scroll bar, and there are no signatures. It just seems unnecessarily cluttered. And you can't even tab between letters like before; you have to go through the character page. Gah!

Elly: "It's nice to write for an audience; something I think I'd enjoy having a website for Lilliput's, actually..." ??? Drop the "something" or add an "is" between "enjoy" and "having".

Dreams about being locked out of the store, and her key won't fit? If that doesn't scream "John and Moira gettin' it on in the storeroom," I don't know what would!

And she can't understand why Ted doesn't want to get married? Because some guys don't, that's all! As long as he doesn't get someone pregnant and then refuse to admit the baby is his, or stand a woman up at the altar, what's the harm? Isn't it enough that he takes care of his mom? A lot of guys tomcat around and treat their moms like crap; if it was the latter, I could understand her concern. Elly, it's not your job to make sure everyone in your world is married with 2.4 kids.

"I refuse to sweat the small stuff (one New Year's resolution that's been so useful that I've internalized it and assimilated it into everyday use!)." Uh, Elly...we see you day to day. What, to you, is the small stuff? The fact that a cloud blocks the sun for five minutes? I don't know of one bit of "small stuff" that you don't sweat.

John: Trains, trains, trains...Nothing to see, move along. Oh no wait: one thing. He thinks Becky has talent. Well, that's great, that someone acknowledges that it's not all about April...but why is he commenting on his daughter's roadside friend? Hmmmmmmmmm?

Liz: Oh, jeez, the contract thing again. Remember last year, when Liz smugly informed John that First Nations people consider a contract "less binding"? I heard two different takes on that. One person said that a verbal contract is more binding, in the sense that a lawyer can get you out of a written contract, but if you flake out on a verbal contract, you've dealt a serious blow to your honor, and that can't be fixed. Someone else said, "Yeah, that's great...but the advantage of a written contract is that it requires both parties to sit down together and hash out exactly what each requires of the other. That way, there's no, 'But I thought...' or 'You were supposed to...'"

I personally don't think this "I might have a job in the fall, but I'm not sure" jazz reflects well on the Mtwhatsitians' honor. Liz is an adult, and needs a job, either with them or someone else if they're finished with her. The Great Spirit may take care of them into perpetuity, but not everyone is in tune with the earth like that.

And are there any teachers here who can tell me if it's common for teachers to have to take a fill-in job in the summer? I would say that it sucks if Liz's salary doesn't cover 12 months of the year (does she get paid in fish?), but who knows.

April: "Plus I can talk to [Liz] about stuff, and she won't tell Mom unless I really freak her out. I just have to know when to quit." I wonder about that. April has shown a bad tendency to blab Liz's personal business to any and all within earshot, but that doesn't mean two wrongs make a right. I wonder how far she can trust Liz. Was that ever a serious offer, for her to track April's online activity and report back to Elly?

And she's worried that her parents will divorce! She says "they don't fight very much", but if they do it often enough that she knows the pattern, I'd say that's a bad sign. And of course, it's classic passive aggression. That said, I'm glad she's not judging Becky so much any more. But how has she been "acting nicer"? And by whose standards?

Mike: Bitch gripe moan groan. Look pal, you are in management. You have it a hell of a lot easier than some people. Don't give me these poetic musings about blood cells or whatever: accept your lot in life. See that guy in the corner of the Metro station? I bet he writes poetry, too, but no one pays him for it. Gah!

And he's ceding his personal territory? Except, it was never really his. Focus on that second part, pal. And meanwhile, he wants to put up gates to impede his daughter's movement? There's an irony there. (Okay, not really, because you really don't want a toddler running willy-nilly all over an apartment building. Still.)

Deanna: My god, what to say. Lady, you are moving from one floor to another in the same building. My husband and I did the same thing years ago, and it was a very simple process. 1) Move the furniture. 2) Toss the loose stuff into lidless boxes and carry it over to the new place. 3) Arrange the loose stuff the same way it was before. Rocket surgery, people.

I mean, packing tape?! (Okay, it was Mike who said that, but still.) You do not need to seal a box to carry it up one flight of stairs! And here's a helpful hint. Perhaps if you weren't always buying stuff you don't even use, you could afford a bigger place! And then we wouldn't have to hear another sermon about how second-world nations people are so bloody austere and virtuous! And don't donate that shit; sell it! (Although I was glad to see a tiny bit of insight into why Mira is so hooked on giving material things. A sign that she might actually be human? Lynn, you better squash that.)

Jim: Ramble ramble cars ramble ramble coffee ramble ramble wooden blocks ramble...zzzzzzz. I really think he's on his way out.

Tuesday, May 3

"Too bad they don't care what we think of them!"

"Too bad honesty has to be enforced!"

"Too bad everybody's not exactly like us!"

Guys...why should they care what you think of them? What does it matter? Why should you think anything? Who CARES what you think? Why does it make them bad, horrible, evil people because they left junk on the carpet?

My (husband's and my) landlady brings in a team of professionals to clean and repaint apartments when someone moves out. We didn't scrub our old apartment before we left it either, but she didn't expect us to. That's what a security deposit is for, after all.

But then our landlady owns a great deal of property, not just one building. She's always been fair with us, but I don't know of her ever agreeing to reduce rates just because we or anyone else were so sweet. Lynn's worldview really makes me sick. Not everyone thinks you can eat good vibes and invest charm.