Synopsis: Gordon gets all morose about how he hasn't had a date yet as if a girlfriend is supposed to be assigned to him (granted, one is but his expectation that he can point to a girl and then to his wang and say "You go on here, okay" gives me the screaming jeebies). When Mike engages in revisionist history that sets up a premature outing, Gordon says that it's different because Lawrence and Brian don't have the same creepy stalker yearning he has for Alyson. When he proves that he's kind of a freak by listing the body parts he'd give if Alyson would give him the time of day, it's to set up a disturbing joke about how he'd rather eat gravel than talk to her and be told no.
Summary: Thank you, Gordon. Thank you for reminding us that there are worse people than Anthony. Thank you for letting Liz off the hook because it's you who's the prime mover of the collapse of your employee's marriage.