(Original Publication Date, 19 August 1991)
Panel 1: We find ourselves watching Mike sulk to Gordon because he'd spent four weeks at the farm and Martha never even sent him a postcard. He's going to be cool about it and not go after her. Gord says "Be cool" because he's a lousy friend.
Panel 2: Mike then tells Gordon that he wants him to talk to Martha so as to tell her that she's failed another his idiotic tests; Gord freaks about because he's never dated a girl so has no idea how to talk to one. If I had been there, I'd have told him to get his head out of his ass and stop with the hormone attack garbage.
Panel 3: Mike reveals that he's never going to see a woman as being a person in her own right by telling Gordon to just pretend that a girl is a person.
Panel 4: Gordon thought-bubbles about the impossibility of that by remining himself that Martha is a person shaped like a girl.
Summary: Good thing that Gordon is assigned a wife in order to prove Lynn's stupid point about how love is a mental illness so friendship is best when choosing partners. With his thinking that women are eldritch horrors that trap the unwary, he'd be a fucking incel.