(Original Publication Date, 1 March 1991)
Panel 1: We have Michael and Gordon eating lunch. Michael shows off his Patterson eating etiquette by asking Gordon a question with his mouth full. For some reason Lawrence is there, but he is not eating lunch with Michael and Gordon. I suspect it is because Lawrence has trouble keeping his lunch down while watching Michael eat. Michael asks Gordon why he “acts like such a dweeb” around Allyson, and since we know he is talking about yesterday’s “hormone attack”, we know that “dweeb” in this case means “disgusting pervert.”
Panel 2: Lawrence joins in and asks Gordon why he doesn’t act normal. And Gordon replies he is boring when he is normal. I suppose there is some truth to that. The “hormone attack” is certainly not boring, even if it is extremely unpleasant and not funny. In the meantime, I wonder what those black things are under the table. Even in the original they are there. It’s kind of like Michael and his crew have disembodied black knees, or there are people under the table who are wearing Mickey Mouse caps.
Panel 3: Gordon complains that nobody wants to go out with a boring, normal, ordinary guy. Of course, nobody wants to go out with a guy who falls on the ground while thrusting his crotch at them either. The real question is why Gordon thought a “hormone attack” would be a reasonable substitute for “boring.” It’s kind of like saying, “I am tired of vanilla ice cream. It’s boring. I want something different. How about poison?” In the meantime, Lawrence’s head falls outside the panel lines. 1991 Lynn Johnston says, “I am breaking artistic barriers with Lawrence and this is just the beginning!”
Panel 4: Lawrence gets in one of his rare, “I am still angry that Michael is dating my ex-girlfriend Martha” slams, by pointing out that Michael is boring, normal and ordinary and Martha dates him anyway. Good one, Lawrence. In the meantime, the silhouette people are wandering through the background for no apparent reason after having not been there for the first 3 panels. I guess everyone likes to hear Michael get slammed, even the silhouette people.
Summary: This is one of the few times you will see anyone suggest that someone use Michael as an example of good behavior with women.