(Original Publication Date, 6 January 1991)
Panel 1: For some reason, we find Mike, Brian and Gordon sitting around wiling away their lives coming up with slang expressions for being drunk. Mike leads off with bombed and wasted, Brian comes up with hammered and Gordo says canned.
Panel 2: Gordon answers Mike's stewed and juiced with ripped.
Panel 3: Mike continues on with totalled, plastered, crocked and polluted, Brian says tight, zonked, intoxicated and Gordon says gassed, loaded, smashed, potted, wiped and sloshed.
Panel 4: When Mike and Brian start to repeat themselves by saying bombed, tanked and blasted, Gordon realizes that they seem to be repeating themselves.
Panel 5: Mike does something really stupid by asking Liz for help.
Panel 6: Since Liz doesn't know the patter or the pain yet and won't until the presence of Evil Career Woman makes her drink herself into a stupor in order to turn her feelings off, it seems rather stupid of Mike to ask her to help them come up with as many words for 'drunk' as they can and even stupider to ask if she knows any.
Panel 7: She thinks back to all of the times John tied one on because he needed to be 'fortified' in order to mingle.
Panel 8: She then cheerfully comes up with "How about stupid?"
Panel 9: Since he has been 'humiliated' by having it rammed home how dumb he's being, Mike declares this to be why he hates sisters.
Summary: This is rather ironic given that Gordon grows up to be a teetotaller and that Liz eventually thought-bubbles about how cruel April is for knowing all of these words but nothing of the self-inflicted torment idiots like her deal with.