(Original Publication Date, 16 November 1990)
Have you ever felt terrific? When my love letter to you was returned because of insufficient postage, I was in the best mood possible. I didn’t have to worry about whether you were going to humiliate me by letting people know I love you. It was the kind of mood when you just want to BOP! Your sister in the head.
It was also the kind of mood which makes me want to throw an orange croquet ball and hit my sister in the head. Have you ever played croquet? I haven’t, but the balls are really fun to throw at your sister. They have a good weight and you can throw them pretty hard and they make a great WHAP! noise when they smack your sister in the head.
If anyone asks, I will say I threw a tennis ball, but it’s not really true. A tennis ball’s stripes do not look the same as a croquet ball’s stripes.
It was also the kind of mood which makes me pull my sister’s pony tail back and yank her head until she screams with pain, “Michael, what the heck is the matter with you, anyway?!!” I will say, “Nothing.. … I’m just in a great mood!” And it was true.
After all, when you are in a great mood, there is nothing like celebrating by BOP!ing your sister on the head. I love doing that. I have been doing it all my life and will probably keep on doing it.
Thanks for reading,